Present Moment Mojo

"The secret of 'mojo' is staying present, open to the powerful co-creation currently and consistently taking place in your life.  Something amazing is always present.  But you're not always present.  Your judgment, demands, and expectations block your experience of the extraordinary and instrumental.  Go where things open up for you.  Follow the flow.  Be the presence of love for everyone you meet, and stir inspired connections.  If you feel disconnected, stop working and do something nourishing for yourself.  Feeling good makes you available to recognize and receive more joy, direction, and opportunity."  Tama Kieves

Sharing A Moment

Deep breaths.

These last couple of days I have felt like I can't catch a good, deep breath, I have felt like someone has a whip behind me, saying "Get to work!  Get to work!"  I have felt tightness in my chest, cluttered messiness in my head. As I sit here looking out the window at blooming trees, green galore, I close my eyes and notice the feeling of the fresh air coming though the open window, I listen to singing birds, I see clearly why I've been feeling this shallow-breathed frantic-ness.

I see clearly that, rather than being where I am at any given moment, I've been submerged in (negative/constricting) what ifs.  My mind has been thinking about all the ways I might disappoint, how maybe "my way" isn't really a "good way."  I've walked passed blooming rhododendrons, forgotten to hug my beautiful little girls, told myself I must do more, get it together, get organized, get centered.

In other words, I've been everything but present.

Today when I woke up, I reminded myself that this very moment is all that matters.  I stretched extra long in bed before getting up, I said a prayer that went something like this:  Please, please help me to stay present, awake, to whatever is before me.  Please help me to see that this moment is all that matters.

There was still the menacing, militant voice (the one I think we all have if we're human) that kept trying to tell me to hurry up, to get a grip (like "getting a grip" is ever a good thing) - to do more.  But, rather than allowing it to toss me all over the place, I stayed mindful, present - alert.  That "little me" voice is not the one I want to listen to & I always have a choice.

This morning, I remembered to breathe deeply.  My girls and I chatted, I paid extra attention to the blossoming trees, I noticed the blooming miracle of spring. I let the cool morning air fill my lungs and soften all those hard, holding on places.  My mind quieted down.  I felt myself held, open, remembering what matters.

This very moment is what matters.  This one. The one you are breathing in right now.  Can you let it open you?  Can you let it feed you?  Can you let it soften the holding on places?  Can you trust that what is right before you is the perfect teacher?  Can you trust that what IS is exactly what's supposed to be?

Can you give yourself a break?  Can I?

Can you see that no amount of getting it done, no amount of getting "it" will ever fill you if you're not already full?  And that you can only be full - here. Now.

Hello Love

"Everything that happens today is in your favor. Everyone you meet is your guru, your beloved, an instructor for your highest good. Don’t be fooled by the skin of things. Everything, seen through love, can set you freer than you’ve ever been."  Tama Kieves

               

 Art by Lori Portka

Can you imagine what life could be like if you really, truly believed, if you absolutely knew, that every single person, challenge, perceived problem, messy ick that you encounter is really just an angel there to wake you up from your sleepy slumber, a blessing-of-a-nudge there to move you closer to the most awake, ALIVE you you can be?

Can you Imagine what life could be like if, rather than resisting what's happening, you opened your eyes wider, leaned the whole of you closer, Listened with a capital L as if your life depends on it?

A couple of months ago, I was involved in an interaction with someone close to me, this person was standing in the kitchen yelling and spitting anger over the devastating tragedy that recently occurred in Connecticut - the one that left so many grieving and angry.  The others (including myself) involved in the conversation were wanting to say a few things to her but she wouldn't listen - she was too angry to listen - and very quickly her anger became directed, not only at the shooter, but at those of us there in the kitchen with her.  

As I was standing there watching all of this, I noticed a sick feeling growing deep in my belly.  And then I watched as anger/frustration/judgment started bubbling to the surface.  I could see clearly that I had a choice:  I could meet layers and layers of anger with more anger, layers of judgment with more judgment, or I could step back, step away - find the gift, rather than the grime - find the love rather than the blame.

I chose to step back.  I took a deep breath, I asked for guidance.  I said something in my head like:  Please, please help me to See.  

That momentary pause was just enough to help me see that what was needed wasn’t more anger.  What was and is needed - always - is more love.  First, I could choose to love myself despite my initial judgment and anger, and then I could choose to have compassion for her despite the hate she was throwing around.  I could choose to see that this anger was weight she was carrying, suffering that was pressing down on her hard, it didn't have to be mine.  I could gently choose, even just in my own heart, to send myself, and then her, love.  

Once I stepped away and opened to the gift (that I know is always there when we take time to really see) love flooded in.  Rather than allowing this situation to put me back to sleep, I allowed it to move me closer to love.

What started out as ick became a gift.

It's all here to wake us up, to nudge us closer to our most ALIVE self.

It's all here saying:

Listen, listen, listen like crazy to your life, to your inner most longings, to the whispers that come from deep inside.  The stuff that keeps you up at night, the challenges and pain you keep bumping against, these are the Divine knocking at your door, calling your name...saying open the door, pay attention - don't you see - YOU ARE FREE.

Soul Singing Goodness

I have never before created anything that feels so raw and vulnerable, that has required every ounce of my courage and strength and faith.  I am amazed by how scary it feels to put myself out there in this way.  And, at the same time, how completely, utterly ALIVE I have felt in the process of creating this.

What really makes my soul sing is that I’m giving myself permission (finally!) to show up with all of me – that I’m giving myself the freedom, for maybe the first time ever (in such a public way), to be vulnerably, fully me.  And coming back, again and again, to trusting that this is enough. 

On this lovely, sunshiny, bird-singing, blooming spring morning, the beautiful Jodi Chapman and I are having a soulful conversation (in written form) about my upcoming class, "Getting Naked"  (starting this Monday! May 6th).   The  above words are a little snippet (snippet...that's a word I don't think I've ever used) from that conversation.  

To read more, to enter the giveaway (2 winners will be chosen to join the class!), to get in on the discount I'm offering and to join the conversation, please head over to Soul Speak.   

I will be closing registration on Monday, May 6th, so if you're feeling yourself being called, head over to Jodi's site and register (at the special discounted price).  I would so love to have you.

Happy weekend everyone!

With love,

Julia

The Bigness of God

Oregon Coast Beauty

A couple of weeks ago, while listening to an old, bearded man play guitar and sing the most gorgeous, soul-stirring music, I texted the following words to my dear friend, Brooke:

How can I be enjoying myself so much but still be feeling SO much fear?

And she wrote this back to me:

Even if you can't feel it, I know you are surrounded by magic.  It isn't about hammering out this class, it's about feeling the magic in this moment.  If you do that, even for a small second, it is enough.  

Don't be tempted to be distracted by little you.  Trade your little glory for the bigness of God's.

Can I just say, wow.

This is one of those moments when the support of another dear soul meant absolutely everything.

There was a part of me sitting there at the Drift Inn in Yachats, Oregon, watching as the Pacific Ocean showed off its glory, listening to this dear man sing his heart out, while feeling the heaviest, most trembling fear - a fear that really felt like it could break me.  Fear was saying things like:  What if this class isn't enough for people?  How are you going to make it really "good"? You should be working right now instead of sitting here in a pub listening to music.

There I was with these fearful thoughts spinning me into breathlessness, while my eyes spilled over with emotion for what that godly ocean, that man's voice was stirring in me.

I think this speaks to the human condition.  There can be great beauty and great pain simultaneously - we can feel both at once.  We can show up full of courage, fully knowing the rightness of something, and shaking with fear at the same time.

What matters is which part we choose to listen to, which part we allow to run the show - whether we allow those voices of fear to stop us in our tracks or choose to move anyway.

After this beautiful musician man (aka - magician man) finished his last song, I ignored the voice telling me I should get back to work, and instead followed the knowing nudge that said very clearly:  Go talk to him.  Within a couple of minutes of conversation about music and passion and pain and life, he said these words to me:

Once I came to Yachats, everything changed.  Rather than getting caught up in trying to be successful, I got in touch with something much bigger - my music then became about connecting with this bigger, it became a way to give thanks. It's all about giving thanks.

Talk about trading my little glory for the bigness of God (and when I say God, I'm really saying LOVE).  I'm seriously blown away and so humbled.  No amount of "working on my class" could have filled me the way that interaction with that man at that time could have.

It turns out that all I needed to do that evening, was show up fully for what was right in front of me - the rest was taken care of by Grace.

I'm getting more and more deeply that no amount of "success," no amount of outside approval, no amount of doing, can ever fill us the way showing up fully, showing up for love can.

Here's a question for you:

How can you trade your little glory for the bigness of God/Love today?  

I'm getting more and more deeply that our little glory is shallow and fleeting. It's the bigness of God/Source/the Divine/Love that I'm interested in.

You?

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P.S:  There is still time to sign up for my  Getting Naked class (starting May 6th)!  There is the most gorgeous/tender/soulful group of women that have already signed up.  It's going to be a beautiful, transformative 40 days, I just know it.  Wanna join us?

13.1 Miles, Courage, Sprout Magazine and a "Getting Naked" Giveaway Winner!

After running a half marathon yesterday (!), I'm happily, comfortably resting/taking it super slow & easy this morning.  

Whew...running is not something that comes naturally to me so it feels like an extra big accomplishment to have run those 13.1 miles.  Even though I've run half marathons (and even one full marathon) in the past, each and every time I step out the door to run it feels like the hugest stretch, and each time I wonder if I'll possibly be able to meet whatever distance goal I've set for that particular run.  

Yesterday my intention was to run the whole time and to minimize the suffering.  The half marathon I ran a couple of years ago was seriously grueling so the fact that I was able to run yesterday with very minimal suffering felt huge and so good!

So, this morning I'm kicking back with some hot tea, reading this month's Sprout magazine, which happens to be all about courage (which couldn't be more timely for me with my Getting Naked class so close to starting).  

And now for the giveaway winner announcement!

Christy, you have won a spot in my Getting Naked class (starting May 6th)!  I'm so so excited that you will be joining me & the beauties that have already signed up!

Those of you who left comments last week, thank you so much.  Those of you who have expressed interest in "Getting Naked", I really, really hope you will join us.  Click HERE to register...

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If you haven't already gotten this month's issue of Sprout online magazine (it's only $6.00!), click HERE...there is so much beauty/color/comfort/connection/inspiration in this issue.  (As well as a couple of lovely pages about my upcoming class).

Amanda Fall is the creator of this incredibly inspiring magazine and is one of the most genuine, big-hearted people I have the honor of knowing.

In beautiful Amanda Fall's words...

Sprout #18 now available (the COURAGE issue)

You are a divine spark. And courage? Your birthright.

Within each of us burns a quiet fire: a radiance where vulnerability and strength meet, where toughness and tenderness ignite. Fan your flame with Sprout: Courage--sixty brilliantly colored pages of art, poetry, essays, and more.

Join me (Amanda Fall) and sixteen guests in this passionate issue. Dance with us as we root ourselves in truth, looking and listening deeply to the core of our lives. We are Spirit-led and Grace-fed. We are hurt and we are healing. We are bright-eyed and bold-hearted (even when we feel anything but). We are united. And oh, sweet one, we are luminous.

Hello Fear

"How can I accomplish something good when I feel so broken and doubtful?  Okay, so I'm forgetting that it's the light in me that holds the power.  I am willing to step forward and that is my gift.  That's my part.  I am willing to trust a greater love within me."  Tama Kieves

I just took this photo from the back deck of the little cottage I have brought myself to for a couple of days.  I'm sitting at a little table looking out at the Pacific Ocean - sliding glass door opened wide so I can hear the magic of the waves, feel the air coming off the ocean - breathe in deeply this salty freshness.  Seagulls swoop up high and then down close to foaming white.  A vanilla-scented candle flickers bright beside me.  

I remind myself to breathe deeply.  I remind myself that there is no rush, no need to push.  I remind myself, like Tama Kieves reminded herself in her above words, that it's the light within me that holds the power.

It seems the closer I get to stepping into what is calling me, the more yes-es I say to the dreams that feel so much bigger than me, the more this little fear-brained part of me grabs hold and tries to steal the breath, the yes from me.  

I am all too familiar with this fear-brained one and (thankfully!) I know that I no longer need to let scared- little-me run the show.  I can keep these hands clicking over letters and spaces, I can keep baby stepping my way toward what is calling me.  One gentle step at at time, regardless of what little fearful one has to say, I can keep moving.

When I announced here that I was in the process of creating an online class, every part of me came alive and felt the rightness.  And, from this deep, knowing part of me, I still know that creating and sharing what I have to share is right and true.  Despite the voices that are saying, you don't know how, it's too much, it's overwhelming, who do you think you are?  I begin and begin and begin.  I keep showing up.  I breathe.  

I'm willing to trust a greater love within me - the greater love that brought me here to this strip of magical sea to create what is in me to create.  Big sighs.

Hello fear, I see you there.  Now please, move aside...

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To those of you who have signed up for my class, I'm so excited and beyond grateful to have you on board!  We already have a beautiful, gorgeous, soulful group of women who have said yes to getting naked!  I can hardly wait to get started.

Today (and for the next couple of days) I'm offering a giveaway for 1 spot in the class (which begin May 6th).  Just leave a few words in the comment section to enter the giveaway...if you've already registered, you could think about offering this spot to a friend.  I will announce the winner on Saturday 4/13/12 (which is only a couple of days away (so hurry!) & happens to be my beautiful little girl's 11th b-day). 

 To register (or to read more) about my Getting Naked class click HERE.

P.S:  Things will most likely continue to be pretty quiet around here as I sink into the process of creating this love of mine.

Hummingbird Joy

"The world will demand a reasonable answer of you.  Others around you will want a predictable map of your intentions and plans.  They want to hear about your research and projections, not your latest angel sighting, coaching session, or meditation.  And you will be standing there with some hummingbird joy that you can't explain and that you can't dismiss.  You will also know that if you turn away from this sweetness in favor of reason, you will lose your way to everything you believe in and resign yourself to a shell of a life, haunted by the life you've denied.  Let me cut to the chase and save you sweat, wasted potential, and years.  It's worth a bit of discomfort to feel more infinitely alive than you ever thought possible.  "  Tama Kieves (from her seriously amazing book Inspired & Unstoppable)

We are standing in an empty room - the two of us side by side, our feet firmly planted on hardwood floors. I am noticing the about-to-bloom tree outside the window, sunlight coming through, my beating heart.  I see that I have the ability to choose - always the ability to choose.  I say these words to her beautiful, open eyes - her listening face, I say something like this:   

I see clearly that one choice steps us backwards toward fear, constriction, smallness - another toward possibility, faith, expansion - love.  

As we stand there, all parts of me start to tremble with a knowing that we have to do this, we have to step toward expansion and faith - we have to choose to listen to this love-voice, not the fear-voice.  I feel brave and scared shitless at the same time.  

We get to choose.

It doesn't make any logical sense to do this.  We don't even have a plan or clients or money, really.  But rent is cheap and Starbucks is right downstairs, the river only a few blocks away, and there's something about these hardwood floors and the fact that this landlord feels more like our guardian angel than a business man trying to rent us office space. And it's her standing there, my forever friend - the friend that has helped me to see, the friend that has been willing, always willing, to trudge through sticky, tangled mess with me, the hand-holding friend that always, always, walks her brave self with me to the other side.  

And we have a vision - a vision that feels way more important than a plan.  A vision of a space that feels more like a breath than an office, a vision of flowing water and sea green walls, comfortable chairs - sunlight pouring in, a fully bloomed tree.  

We have a vision of reminding others to breathe, reminding others that the answers are in their insides.  We have a vision of joyful sweetness, deep Source connections.  

A vision we trust more than a plan.

What will my husband think?  How will we get clients?  How will I explain this plan-less thing we're doing?  What if it doesn't work?  We might just be crazy.

We don't have reasonable answers but we're standing there with some kind of hummingbird joy we can't possibly explain.  Inexplicable joy we wouldn't trade for anything.  

We hear ourselves say yes and the landlord who we haven't yet given money to, the gray-haired man before us who we've decided has walked down straight from the clouds, hands us a key.  Our key that unlocks our door to our new office. 

Our key to hummingbird possibility.  

This is what I've been doing lately.  Saying YES without a plan, saying YES before I have any idea of the hows, saying YES despite trembling fear.  

There is this part of me feeling trembling fear and this other part moving toward anyway, deciding that it's all (as Marie Forleo says) "figureoutable."  

There is squirming fear and discomfort and not knowing how but showing up and watching myself as I record a guided meditation for my upcoming "Getting Naked" class that flowed straight through without a plan or a knowing how. I simply closed my eyes, decided to trust something beyond the trembling fear and it just came through, it seriously just came through. 

There is this squirming fear and discomfort and not knowing how but then watching myself figure out how to upload videos, create a Paypal button, create a website banner - write from a place deep inside me.  I didn't know where to begin, I didn't know how, but I began anyway. 

I feel more fear than I ever have before but there is this hummingbird knowing, this hummingbird joy I wouldn't trade for anything. I am humbled & in awe.

Life.

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P.S:  If you haven't already signed up for my upcoming class "Getting Naked:  Shed the excess.  Return to YOU," I so hope you'll join me and the other beauties who are joining me.  There are seven days left to grab the special early sign up price of & 44.00.  Click HERE to read more & to sign yourself up.  I have a very good feeling about this.  

"GETTING NAKED" We've got a starting date!

Day one of  Getting Naked (A 40-consecutive-day online SoulClass) begins Monday, May 6th, 2013! 

This class is a pouring, an offering straight from my heart.   

With so much love & overflowing gratitude,

Julia

*To learn more, see below.  If you have any questions at all, please feel very free to email me at juliafeh@yahoo.com

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I joyfully invite you to shed the excess, to come back to YOU.  "Getting Naked" will be 40 days of...

*Uncensored/unpolished videos of me sharing my stories, my inspiration - by deepest heart stuff

*Real/raw conversations with me & other women on similar paths

*Poetry/art/quotes that I've written/created or have been moved by

*Exercises &challenges & invitations to go deeper, open & trust and love more

*An invitation to begin a daily practice that will nurture you & keep you coming back to your deepest, most alive Self

*Guided meditations to nudge you back to your breath, your center - your place of softness, your place of power

*Me sharing the tools & treasures I've gathered over the years....including little glimpses of my past journal entries

*A private space/website to interact & connect...a soft, safe place to land, to love & be loved, to support and be supported

*40 consecutive days of receiving daily Love in your inbox (as well as on our private site)

When we commit to letting go of what no longer serves us & dive deep into the center of ourselves, from exactly where we are, there is no predictable outcome - only beautiful, healing, heart-opening possibility. I'm sure there will be endless surprises.  I'm sure we will all come out on the other side of these 40 day changed.  

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I've been busily, happily, working on my upcoming "Getting Naked" SoulClass and wanted to share with you what "Getting Naked" really means to me.  I sat down at a coffee shop last week, fully feeling the fear but showing up anyway, with the intention of allowing the words to flow through me, and this (below) is what (quickly) came through. 

And now, with a quickening pulse and a deep breath, I will press "publish."  Thank you, each of you, for your beautiful, love-filled words of support.  I'm so deeply grateful to have you here with me. 

Artwork by Lori Portka

“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”  Rumi

Getting Naked is an invitation.  It's an invitation to shed all that's in the way of your truest, never-been-created before, will-never-be-created again, one of a kind, absolutely REAL, love-filled Self.  

It's an invitation to shed the shoulds, the I can'ts, the comparisons, the thoughts and old stories that insist that you're not enough—that you need to get more, be more, do more, have more, before you can fully BE finally.  

It's an invitation to open your eyes wider, your ears and heart more fully and allow the white hot stirring in your belly, the burning, love-saturated Source in the center of you to be your guide, your guru, your map, your compass.  And knowing, really knowing, that allowing this Source/this Love to be your guide is the only thing that makes sense.

It's an invitation to lay down the swords, the armor—to shed all the barriers within yourself that you have built between you and YOU/Love/God/Source/the Divine.  It's an invitation to live softly, boldly—truly—with wild, love-filled, faith-filled abandon.  It's about living with absolute freedom and unapologetic brightness.  

Getting Naked is about knowing that you are the Source of all that you are seeking, and deciding to give freely from this place of boundless abundance. It's about spilling over with fullness and then offering that fullness to every being you meet on this beautiful, wild, sacred, messy, life path.  

It's about deep breaths and knowing, really Knowing, that this very breath is the only one you know you have for sure.  It's about greeting each moment directly, with freshness and life and openness, rather than repeating the same recycled, tired patterns that suck the breath out of life.

It's about staying when you feel like running, sitting with the ache when you think it will swallow you whole, feeling fully the discomfort, the ouch that stabs deep—knowing that even this, maybe especially this, is the path to freedom.  

It's about knowing, as my beautiful friend Leah puts it, that the solutions you so desperately seek dwell within the very heart of your problem.

It's about meeting everything, everyone, especially yourself, with love.  Because love is always, in all ways, the answer.

It's about feeling the fear in every cell of your being and choosing to move toward what is calling you anyway.  It's about allowing yourself to sink into poetry and art and to know that you ARE the poetry, YOU are the art.

Remember, the entrance door to the sanctuary is inside you.  Rumi

It's about knowing, as Rumi says, that the entrance door to the sanctuary is inside you.  It's about going beyond that field of wrongdoing and rightdoing, kissing the ground, allowing the beauty you love to be what you do.  It's about allowing the sacred inside you to pour and spill and guide you back to YOU/to God/to Source/to all that whispers and calls and calls you forth.  

It's about seeing, finally, that your perceived weaknesses are your greatest strengths in disguise and embracing every bit of your wild, tender self.

It's about no longer waiting to be rescued/discovered—saved—and, instead, putting on your cape and being your own damn rescue-er, your own savior, your own superhero!

It's about living with a capital L.  It's about choosing YOU, your UNIQUE genius way, over and over again.  

It's about these words from Rumi:

If you knew yourself for even one moment, if you could just glimpse your most beautiful face, maybe you wouldn't slumber so deeply in that house of clay. 

Why not move into your house of joy and shine into every crevice! For you are the secret Treasure-bearer, and always have been. Didn't you know? ~Rumi

It's about beginning from HERE.  NOW.   From who you are in this very, exact moment and Trusting that your exact secret ingredients, your exact messy imperfection & sacred, unchanging perfection is precisely what this world needs.  And claiming, really and truly claiming this as your very own gift to give.  

It's about believing in magic and allowing each breath to open and soften and strengthen you.  

It's about being present enough to see, really See, the glittering preciousness in each moment. 

It's about opening the door that was never closed.  Recognizing that the only thing in the way of you living your most ALIVE, love-spilling life is you.  And deciding, with every cell of you, to get out of your own way so you can share freely all of your gifted treasures!

Getting Naked

Art by the beautiful Lori Portka

I always get a little jittery before writing a post, which is funny considering how long I've been coming here writing posts.  I'm starting to look at this less as me being anxious and more as me moving toward my ALIVE. It's life stirring in me, wanting to get OUT--to share & be shared. But this post is different in the way that the jitters are even more jittery—the ALIVE bursting at the seams to be shared before I retreat in utter terror. 

Deep breaths.  

Okay, I'm back.  I keep stopping and starting this post and then clicking onto some other internet page with hope that something will give me the courage to say what I need to say...what my inner most self keeps nudging me to share—to DECLARE.  

I tell you this because I want you to know that I am fully feeling the fear (all the way down to my little toes) but choosing to move anyway.  I'm telling you this because I so don't want you to think you need to wait until the fear goes away before you leap with the whole of you into that thing that is calling you, into that thing that won't get out into the world in the same way ever, unless you claim it as yours.

So, here goes...

I'm in the process of creating an online "class" (I put class in quotes for lack of a better word) – a creation that I intend to pour the whole of me into, a creation that will take every ounce of my courage and Real and resolve.  Though I'm still working out the details, I feel called to move, to step, to share anyway.  The creation of this will be a moment by moment, breath by breath feeling-the-fear-but-doing-it-anyway sacred unfolding.

I have a sense of clarity & resolve around this (that's been a long, long time coming) & I just know it's what I need to do.  

My vision is that this will come through me -- straight from my center, ME baring it all.  Me being ME--fully & absolutely, in hopes that me being me will invite & inspire & encourage you to be YOU - unapologetically, boldly, with wild, love-filled, faith-filled abandon.   

It will be 40-ish days of pouring myself into this & then sharing it all. 

In this 40 day "class"..there will be lots of uncensored/unpolished videos of me sharing my "REAL," real/raw conversations with other women on similar paths -- poetry, art, exercises, challenges, invitations...me sharing my challenges, my inspiration -- all of the tools & treasures I've gathered over the years.  I am trusting that by showing up as fully me as I know how to, that this will be a gift to others (and to myself).  

It feels crazy & scary to declare this before I know fully the hows & whens.  But it also feels bold and empowering and necessary (and the only way I want to do it).  

Right now the whys are all that matter.  

I'm so very tired of listening to voices of "reason," of thinking I need to do what is "realistic" and linear, what makes "sense" to the mind (minds) that is so keen on keeping me chained to "safety" and smallness.  I'm so very tired of listening to the voice (voices) that insists that my way isn't enough somehow.  

I see clearly how trusting this fire in my belly, how faith in myself & in some nameless Source beyond myself, is what I want to lean fully into.  I want Faith to be my safety net, my voice of reason.  I want creating with wild, me-filled, love-filled abandon to be the only thing that makes sense.

A huge theme in this class will be to begin NOW from right where we are, to not wait until this or that...to TRUST, to know that the answers are within when we get the mind shit out of the way & listen like crazy to our lives. This is what I intend to do. 

Creating this will be a 40 day practice of me coming back to me...over & over again.  

So...now, I want to share the title with you (Can you hear the drumroll?)...

Getting Naked

Shed the excess.  Come back to YOU.

There will be lots more details to follow.  

For now, can I just say... 

Amen.

Calling Bullshit on the Mind

"Before your idea is fully formed, despite the noise your kids are making or the fact that after your full-time job, you’re tired. Even though you only have an hour, and you inbox is overflowing, and the laundry pile is getting scary. Even if the creative project is daunting (maybe especially then)… just start.

After that, it gets easier."  Judy Clement Wall

Art by Mati Rose

I just read the above words written by my beautiful, funny, brave, love-filled, overflowingly giving & creative friend, J, and they jolted me out of my thought-overload frenzy.  

Just begin 

even though you have no idea what you will write about.  Even though you're out of milk and you don't know what's for dinner and you really "should" be shopping for that b-day gift for that b-day that's tonight and you're still seriously mad at the daughter who called you a "turd" this morning (nice, huh?) and the breakfast dishes sit piled and spilling in the sink and the dust balls are getting so big you're practically tripping over them.  Just begin in the midst of the noise, the mess, the overwhelm, the ugly thoughts telling you you have nothing to say, that tell you you're a sucky artist and that you have no idea what step one is and you're jeans feel tight and really, you "should" be doing that weight class at the gym you said you were going to do...and it's Friday and really, it's lame that you're posting on a Friday (why can't you ever stick with a schedule?) when you "should" have posted much earlier in the week.

Whew.

Despite all of this, I begin.  And here's the thing, the moment I step it out of my crazy-making-lie-telling-always-looking-for-a-problem mind, words start to appear, a deep breath comes, finally, and I feel relief.  

Sweet Relief.

It doesn't even matter any more what I'm saying, whether it's "ripe" or "rotten."  It matters that I'm no longer strangling myself with inaction, that I'm refusing to feed and fuel the mind frenzy bullshit that tells me I can't. 

It matters that I feed and fuel that deep-belly fire that aches to express and connect and LIVE with a capital L.  It matters that I lean in and listen, as if my life depends on it, to that gentle whispering voice that says, keep going sweetheart.  And, yes you can.   

I simply begin. 

A couple of days ago, I watched a no-nonsense, totally empowering video by Marie Forleo (it's so worth watching if you get a chance!).  One of the things she said that totally struck me was this:  

Remember everything is FIGUREOUTABLE.  Results and clarity come from engagement (taking action) not thought.

Amen to that.

She also says:

Once you take action the Universe bends to support you.

Here's what I know for sure...

The scaredy cat mind that constantly throws fear and limitation at me is going to continue to stick around. It's stubborn like that.  But I don't have to listen.  I can simply say nanny nanny boo-boo while I pick up my paintbrush and begin to paint that peacock I've been dreaming about for days. Or I can stick my tongue out, and say catch me if you can while I put one foot in front of the other until I run the full ten miles that my mind insisted there was no way I could run.  

Or I can write one word after another until this blog post seemingly writes itself.  

We always get to choose which part of us to feed and fuel.

Result and clarity come from engagement not thought.

Just begin.  

One breath, one step, one word at a time, call bullshit on the mind (you can stick your tongue out if it makes you feel better) and just begin.  And then laugh and giggle and watch while the Universe bows and bends to support you.  

Happy Friday, lovely readers!  Happy beginning. 

Love,

Julia