Life is not a straight line. It's a downpour of gifts, please – hold out your hand

lovelovelovelove
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Thank you for being here. I'm so glad you're here.

Monday, April 20, 2009

I'm sitting outside on our deck, sun shining warmly on my face and body, dog sprawled out in the shade, birds singing beautifully, squirrels leaping from tree branch to tree branch, wispy white clouds on clear blue, little sliver of moon above, blooming purple and orange tulips, a slight breeze bringing just the perfect whisper of coolness, moss-covered oaks, buzzing little creatures, Amy Seeley's soulful voice (http://www.amyseeley.com/ ) singing her truth, empty swings swaying, shadows mixed with sunspots. And me with a longing in my heart I can't quite define. With so much beauty around me and this sweet time to myself, it shouldn't be hard to settle in, to calm my buzzing mind. But it feels hard.

I've been feeling restless and unsettled these last few days--wanting answers that aren't ready to show themselves, wanting so much to bring some of me into the world but not knowing how to, really. I keep telling myself to not skip ahead, to have patience, to trust in the timing of things but then my mind starts racing all over the place and the heaviness and uncertainty returns. i know that my worried mind is not going to help me out here--it's only going to sink me deeper into doubt and fear. And I know, like everything else, this too will pass.

For now, though, this is where I am--surrounded by loveliness so sweet it stings and a longing so deep I could swim in it.

2 comments :

  1. Well done to allow yourself TO BE in the moment. There is no where else TO BE! Love you, sister.

    ReplyDelete
  2. You have inspired me to post my own painting on my blog. Let me know what you think. :)

    ReplyDelete

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♥ Julia