Life is not a straight line. It's a downpour of gifts, please – hold out your hand

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Thank you for being here. I'm so glad you're here.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Presence

"Pain is the difference between what you are and what you want to be." Author unknown

Kelly Rae Roberts speaks of the above quote in her book, Taking Flight. In my copy of the book, I've got this passage underlined and starred. The first time I came across these words, I shook my head in agreement--isn't it so true? When something isn't quite right in our lives, whether it be our job, our relationships, our exercise routine (or lack of), our creativity (or lack of), we feel pain and with pain comes suffering.

This is a funny one, though. We need to be careful not to wait for all to be just right in our worlds (will that ever be the case, really?) before we allow ourselves to be at peace. Even if what we want to be (an author, an artist, a mother, an engineer), isn't what we currently are, we can still embrace wherever we are in our process while continuing to take baby steps toward what is calling us. This takes patience and trust and a belief that it is all moving at its own perfect pace.

Patience is something I think about often. I've always struggled with this one. When I get really passionate about something (writing, painting, books, etc...), I often have difficulty with those baby steps, wondering when something is really going to happen. This is the case even when I'm thoroughly enjoying the process. If I have a vision of where I want to be, it can be hard to stay patient and present with wherever I am in the process while taking the necessary steps toward manifesting my dreams.

On the other hand, I think that lack of patience can, at times, be a driving force, something that propels me forward. The important thing is to keep it all in check, to be in tuned enough and in-the-moment enough to slow down and pay attention. Maybe where I think I want to go or need to go, isn't quite where I am "supposed" to go. It takes presence and openness to step forward, to have ambition and drive without missing the sweet little moments along the way and the messages those moments offer.

I've recently started painting and am absolutely loving it. It feels like something that has been there all along that I hadn't quite tapped into yet. I'm so enjoying the process but now and then I catch myself thinking a little too much about where I want it all go. Like I should already know after just a few weeks of painting. The minute I start thinking or worrying about where it might all lead, I step out of the present moment and into suffering.

Patience.

What I want, and know is the only thing that will truly bring peace, is to be present with whatever is in front of me. I don't want to push away the little every day moments, (even if that moment involves pulling my fighting little ones off each other for the third time in an hour). I don't want to wish away my "nows" thinking some future moment will somehow be more fulfilling. I can trust that this presence will inevitably lead me to that next step. I can trust that if I sink in deeply, all the answers will be revealed, one mindful moment at a time.

All that we want to be is already inside us. We must simply quiet our busy minds and turn inward. All the bliss in the world rests right here, right now. In this very moment. There is nowhere to go.

1 comment :

What are you thinking/feeling? I'd really love to know...

♥ Julia