Life is not a straight line. It's a downpour of gifts, please – hold out your hand

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Thank you for being here. I'm so glad you're here.

Sunday, June 28, 2009

A Few New Paintings

This blogger site seems to be having technical difficulties and won't allow me to post photos so I'm unable to add my newest paintings. If you're interested in taking a look, you can find them here: www.juliafeh.etsy.com (link above)

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Early Morning

It's usually a good thing when I'm up at hours when I would normally be sleeping. It typically means I'm inspired or creativity is soaring (or both). Or sometimes it means one of my girls woke me to go pee-pee, or all of the above. This morning my four-year-old woke me at about 4:00 and I've been up ever since. The birds are chirping madly, the house is quiet, the kids and husband and animals are still sound asleep--it is nice to have these moments before the rest of my people wake up.

My parents are coming from Vermont this morning! I haven't seen them in almost a year and am very much looking forward to spending some time with them. My husband and I have spent the last few days preparing for them (car cleaning, carpet cleaning, lawn mowing, garage cleaning, refrigerator cleaning, getting the broken washing machine fixed, laundry and more laundry, dealing with a broken washing machine a second time, endless picking up, grocery shopping, etc...). It will be very nice to kick back and just enjoy them and watch them enjoy the little ones. Painting and writing will need to be put on hold for a few days and will patiently wait for my return. :)

It's almost time for that early morning walk. It will feel good to breathe the fresh morning air and get my body moving--it's been a few days since I've done that too. For now, life is good, blissfully so at times. My new found love for painting has me giddy and full of gratitude. sigh. I am one lucky woman.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

A Few New Paintings

Below are a few new paintings (both available as prints in my Etsy shop! http://www.juliafeh.etsy.com/ ) Enjoy!
Colorful Tree

Be Brave

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Connections

"you know that feeling when there is so much to tell, that you can’t even begin. ..but then the longing to connect is so strong, and the distance starts to feel so deep? that’s how I feel. just waiting for the open space, when I know what to say. and missing in between. I forget that I can admit overwhelm and not-knowing. just like so." Sabrina Ward Harrison

I stumbled upon these words recently and just had to stop. It is such a joy to come across something that so perfectly describes what it is I've been trying to express but didn't quite know how to. I don't know Sabrina Ward Harrison but I feel like I do. This is the beauty of expression and sharing; feelings of isolation and loneliness are replaced by connection and understanding-what a beautifully perfect thing.

In the midst of my overwhelm and not-knowing, it's so very good to know I'm not alone.

Saturday, June 6, 2009

Messy Me

“We must create what we most need to find.” Author unknown

I'm missing this blog. It's been a while since I've written here--the truth is I haven't felt like I have anything to say. I think it would be more truthful to say I don't know where to begin with all that's going on in my head and in my life. It feels overwhelming to think of putting it all down in a coherent sort-of-way. Where to begin? Where to focus?

That's been a big issue for me lately. focus. or lack of, really. Actually, this not just a lately thing. I've always struggled when it comes to focusing. My thoughts are swirling around at such a pace, touching upon so very many things, I just don't know where to put my attention. Writing has always been very challenging for me for this reason-- feeling like I need to exclude so much in order to make myself clear and understandable, in order to not sound like a babbling crazy person.

But as I write this, I think this is a huge part of my stuckness. I think I've tried too hard to contain all this (this being all that is making its way inside my head and in my world). Maybe what I really need is to allow myself to be a babbling crazy person, stop trying to be the one who can present herself in a neat little box when, really, the box is bursting out all over the place.

There is no neatness here. All I need to do is tell the truth. The truth is often everything but "neat." It's so easy for me to convey this message to others, maybe it's time to start benefiting from my own inner wisdom--the wisdom we all have inside of us and can access if we're brave enough to slow down for a moment.

Just writing this has already turned me in a downstream direction but only because I'm fully allowing myself to be as random and all-over-the-place as I feel. And now I think I'll go to bed--no fancy ending, no tying things up neatly. Just sleep.