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Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Asking Questions

Your task is not to seek love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.   ~ Rumi


I've got the blahs this morning. 

The creative energy has been pretty nonexistent for a while.  which i've mostly been really okay with, but now i'm starting to wonder. 

Is this resistance that i just need to plow my way through?  Or i guess i don't have to plow, i could skip or sing or dance my way through.  Is this a fear thing or just a needing-to-step-back-and-take-a-break-thing? 

If it's fear, what am i afraid of?   Is it a fear of the unknown--what if i don't know what to paint or write?  Is it fear that if i pick up the paintbrush or start putting words on the page i'll create nothing but a big sloppy mess?  Is this a fear that i have nothing original to say--like, it's all out there being said already, what do i really have to add? 

As i wrote that last sentence, a nicer side of me said; That's silly, you know every single person is unique and has their very own voice and that all of those voices add their own special beauty to this world.

The teacher in me is so much gentler with other people than she is with me.  The teacher would say, creativity ebbs and flows, this is probably just a composting time, it'll come back and maybe when it does it will be that much richer.  Be gentle with yourself.

No real answers this morning.  Just a lot of questions.

On a positive note:  The sun is shining at the moment....i think i'll walk myself away from this laptop and go bask in its warmth for a while.  I bet i just might find some clarity there.

3 comments :

  1. i had the blahs for almost all of january! i finally decided to put up all the beads, cover the table, and forget about it. i cleaned, de-cluttered, organized, fluffed up the house...but i wouldn't let myself work on my jewelry for several days - maybe weeks? i told myself that i was making space for creativity whenever she chose to saunter back into my life! :)

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  2. I came across your blog the other day. Thank you for your words as I too have had the blahs.....oh and I so get the sun is shining comment...I'm in Oregon too...ahhh the warmth of the sun...it alone can feed my soul. Yay for sunny days and summer approaching!

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  3. I was stuck for so long because of fears. Creativity is from within, so it's susceptible to all our nuances.

    Asking the questions is good, it's one step closer....

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♥ Julia