Life is not a straight line. It's a downpour of gifts, please – hold out your hand

Thank you for being here. I'm so glad you're here.

Friday, May 28, 2010

Leaning In

"Generally speaking, we regard discomfort in any form as bad news.  But for practitioners or spiritual warriors--people who have a certain hunger to know what is true--feelings like disappointment, embarrassment, irritation, resentment, anger, jealousy, and fear, instead of being bad news, are actually very clear moments that teach us where it is that we're holding back.  They teach us to perk up and lean in when we feel we'd rather collapse and back away.  They're like messengers that show us, with terrifying clarity, exactly where we're stuck.  This very moment is the perfect teacher, and, lucky for us, it's with us wherever we are."     
Pema Chodron from her book When Things Fall Apart

I'm noticing lately how strong the urge is, when things get a little uncomfortable, to seek comfort--to run like crazy toward something/anything that will bring relief.  Sometimes that means turning the computer on, in search of some sort of inspiration--someone else's words that will distract me from whatever it is that i'm  uncomfortably rubbing up against.  Sometimes it's searching through the cupboards or refrigerator, sometimes it's pouring another cup or glass of something.  And on and on.

It is clear to me that in seeking comfort or peace, i'm actually stepping away from it. 

A few days ago, while doing some free-writing with a friend, the following words came out: 

What if i didn't have to run?  What if i could pause and move with gentleness, consciousness?  What if i knew that in running, I am running from peace, from healing, from the arms that have always been there and here--waiting patiently for my return... 

Isn't it nice to know that every moment, just as it is, is the perfect teacher?   I find that very comforting.


  1. Looks like this subject is very pertinent to both of us at the moment. I like the 'leaning into' concept. Here is to staying with it and getting spit out the other side!

  2. Hello Julia,

    I just want to acknowledge your honesty and courage.I hear your call for Love, the overwhelming struggle, and the pain that comes with seeking acceptance outside of yourself. Sadly,the ego can be ferocious in it's quest for control and power.

    Thankfully, we are not who we think we are.

    What if I decided to stop running?

    What if I decided to pause and move with gentleness, consciousness?

    What if I stopped seeking outside of myself for what I am, and just say f**k it, and let love decide?


    Then I would be a calm,clear lake, beautiful and peaceful to be with.

    'This is the day when it is given you to realize the lesson that contains all of salvations power. It is this: Pain is illusion; joy , reality. Pain is but sleep; joy is awakening. Pain is deception; joy alone is truth’ ACIM

    Love Nige:-)


What are you thinking/feeling? I'd really love to know...

♥ Julia