Life is not a straight line. It's a downpour of gifts, please – hold out your hand

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Friday, June 11, 2010

fearLESS Friday!

Week 2

"Inevitably some 'real world' event will challenge you, convince you that you are delusional rather than inspired, definitely dancing to a tune of you own, and alone in all the universe with no hope of success or redress. The mind can always find eight thousand reasons to turn back. And maybe you don't have one good 'reason' to go forward. Then one day it just doesn't matter anymore. You give up the thought that you will take your dream into the world in ways you know. Now you are most pliable and magical. And that's a fine day. Because now you are willing to let the torrent of instinct float you all the way."      Tama Keives

It's amazing (& not at all surprising) how much has come up for me since i posted that "fearLESS Friday" post last week.  Here are a few of the thoughts/fears/discomforts/questions that my mind has conjured up:

*Oh geez, i've put this out there, what if i can't follow-through?  What if i decide i just want to bale?
*What if i don't have anything that would be interesting enough to write about each week?
*What if people think this is a really dumb idea & no one wants to participate?
*What if i really don't want to be fearless, i just want to sleep in and eat all day instead?
*What if it feels like effort instead of inspiration?
*Can i really come up with something new to break through each week?
*What if i decide it's a dumb idea?

Here's how i'm dealing with all of the above.  I'm realizing that i don't have to think ahead with this, i can just take it one step at a time & stay open to whatever might want to show itself.  I'm reminding myself that this idea was born from inspiration, from somewhere deeper than my messy, worried mind. I'm honoring that original energy by showing up here, despite the persistent fears my mind continues to conjure up.  I'm doing my best to get out of the way, turn it over & watch "it" unfold ("it" meaning this weekly fear-LESS challenge, my creative journey & life in general)  rather than thinking i need to do this all myself.

I've been thinking a lot about fear this week, really asking myself if there is anything i'm doing or not doing out of fear, wondering what "fearless" step i could take this week.  One thing in particular kept coming up.  I have thought about (for months now) that i would love to have my pendants displayed at our local art center.  It's a place i've visited often & really respect the quality of the work.  I can just see my pendants there next to all the other gorgeous jewelry they have displayed.

Here comes the but....but whenever i've thought of really stepping forward with this, like actually contacting someone, i've frozen and come up with all kinds of reasons why i "shouldn't" do this now.  Thinking that later things would be different.  Later when i get my online shop looking a little more "put together."  Later when i become more of an artist, whatever that means.  I think i've held back on this because i didn't feel quite worthy of being at the art center with all those other artists.  Hmmmm.

Anyway, i need to cut this short because my little one really wants me to come do magic tricks with her and i've said, just a minute, a few too many times.

So, here's what i did.  I contacted the manager of the art center this morning.  I sent her my Etsy address and told her i thought my work would fit in just right there.

And i'm letting go now of any particular thing needing to happen.  Just to have taken that step feels like relief.  Just showing up here feels like relief.  I have no control over how she will respond (or if she will respond) or whether she'll like my work or not.

She may say no.  But i can keep saying yes.

Feel free to leave your fearless stories in the comments.  I would love to hear from you!

"Your heart has called you to step out on the edge, the thin ground that is actually safer than all you've known before. Trust your instincts instead of your conditioning. The edge will bring you to your edge and to the secret dimensions within you. This alone is worth the journey."           Tama Keives


  1. Well done Julia and she would be mad not to take your gorgeous pendants! I am proud of you. My Fear-less Friday act was kind of similar. I approached a publisher (by email) about a book I am compiling (Julia knows the one). This publisher is the one I really really want to take the book on but I held off contacting them ...the truth is I was scared they would say no. Well I have done it and it feels so good and if the answer is no then I will proceed to another publisher....then another...until I get a yes! Roll on next Friday! All thanks to you Julia! xxx

  2. I love how you say your dream was born of inspiration, a place deeper than your messy, worried mind. Sometimes I am brave and nothing stops me when it comes to my art. Last Friday I entered a juried art show. We shall see, I know my art is like nothing they have seen. I am hopeful. Love your blog.

  3. The art manager would be crazy if she doesn't take you up on your offer.
    BTW, i wanted to put your button on my blog... I can't seem to get the code to work... Can you double check that for me? I would love to have that...Love your work so much...

  4. PS:
    I'm already thinking of what my Fearless Friday will be for next week...I have a plan

  5. LOL "*What if i really don't want to be fearless, i just want to sleep in and eat all day instead?"

    Well, I'm to tired to write anything inspiring and I'd like to go take a nap, but I do want to say I like your stuff (artwork and words!) and you make me smile ;~)

  6. your friendly neighborJune 11, 2010 at 10:26 PM

    I told you to put your stuff there months ago! The pendants are perfect for that place. Yay!

  7. Hiya Julia,

    Mine was more of a fear-less Tuesday.I attended an open audition for two parts in a play called 'My Boy Jack'. I auditioned for the part of Rudyard Kiplings son Jack, and also an irish soldier called Bowe who ends up shellshocked from the war. Being a fan of the method I like to draw from personal experience and act from a place of truth. So,I took a deep breath, and jumped off the edge-decided to build my wings on the way down. YES!

    I wonder what will happen?

    Love Nige:-)

  8. As you know, because you were there!-- I took down my fences and went to celebrate the new moon!Braved childcare complications. Danced, sang, and held, gifted and received! I even sang my dear friend a song! What sweetness! I think you've got something here!


What are you thinking/feeling? I'd really love to know...

♥ Julia