Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I'll meet you there. Rumi

love

llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll
dldldldlldldlldldl
lllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll
Thank you for being here. I'm so glad you're here.

Friday, July 16, 2010

fearLESS Friday!


To the extent that we stop struggling against uncertainty and ambiguity, to that extent we dissolve our fear.  Total fearlessness is full enlightenment--wholehearted, open-minded interaction with our world.  Meanwhile we train in patiently moving in that direction.  By learning to relax with groundlessness, we gradually connect with the mind that knows no fear.    Pema Chödrön




I begin this post with no idea, really, of what i'm going to say.  I don't have any big story of fearlessness to tell you this morning.  I'm simply beginning from this place of not knowing and curiosity for what might decide to come through.

After coaxing my little ones out of their sleepy beds this morning and scrambling to get them dressed/brushed/fed/sunblocked and out the door for camp, i sit here in the morning sun, a hint of sweet coolness still in the air, sipping tea, and wondering what this fearLESS Friday post might be about. 

Life has been very full lately; of travel, social time with friends; household maintenance, a little painting here and there, lots of time with my little ones.  I've been noticing some growing anxiety, wondering how i'll ever catch up with all that seems to need doing.  I've been feeling torn between spending quality time with my girls & trying to squeeze in some time for creating.  And there is always the nagging house maintenance stuff.  I'm noticing an underlying feeling of urgency, feeling a pressure to create, to make something happen in my life.  Feeling like i'm not doing enough.  And that what i am doing isn't good enough. 

And, of course, this feeling of urgency takes me out of the precious present moment and i miss all kinds of beauty and goodness.

It can be so difficult to let go and trust.  To trust that i don't need to "make" anything happen, to trust that there is no greater pleasure than fully showing up in this exact present moment.  I know that peace comes when I embrace, rather than run from, what is before me. Even when what is right before me is tantruming, fighting, tattle tailing (adorable) little girls.  I've been noticing how often i struggle against what is, thinking that peace will come, when....

So, this is it, my  fearlessness for today, for this moment and in moments to come; to settle in to whatever is before me.  To trust in divine timing.  To practice patience.  To trust that if i continue to show up openly and wholeheartedly, the hows will reveal themseleves.  To know that the only thing that is urgent is what is right before me. 

Sometimes fearlessness is loud and action-packed, sometimes it's subtle and quiet.  Always, i think, it's about opening and listening and showing up fully and honestly for what's right here, right now.  Knowing that there is nothing more fearless and brave and awake than that.

Awakeness is found in our pleasure and our pain, our confusion and our wisdom.  It's available in each moment of our weird, unfathomable, ordinary, everyday lives.  Pema Chödrön

4 comments :

  1. "Sometimes fearlessness is loud and action-packed, sometimes it's subtle and quiet. Always, i think, it's about opening and listening and showing up fully and honestly for what's right here, right now. Knowing that there is nothing more fearless and brave and awake than that."

    So profound. I hope that if there is one thing I can really get in this life, that it is this...thank you, dear one. Missing you!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I did not do anything especially fearless on Friday but I did let go a little. Let go of the ironing pile, the windows which need washed, the weeds springing up in the garden....it was a glorious afternoon so I took my troubled sister and my dog out for the afternoon. Drove 15 miles down the coast and spent the afternoon walking and laughing then had fish n chips at the harbour and watched all the little boats coming and going on the sparkling water...and it felt good. And I felt free. And happy. And fearless. Thank you dear Julia!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Well the fear is being pushed back a little more each day and each time I fly by one of our groups blogs! Keep on flying ;-) http://www.designsbylindar.blogspot.com Fan/Biz: http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Me-Myself-and-You/105043419547115

    ReplyDelete
  4. Wow do I ever know how you feel about that. I haven't painted in almost a year now....I can't even believe it. I seem to have gotten so amazingly wrapped up in the day to day going ons that I have completely stopped creating lately. It is sometimes so hard to find that balance in life isn't it? Don't be too hard on yourself Jules, life is filled with controlled (and sometimes not so controlled) chaos everyday, you just have to be aware and try to be in the moment as best you can...that's what I try to do, although it's never so simple, but I think it can be achieved if you want it enough. Love you :)

    ReplyDelete

What are you thinking/feeling? I'd really love to know...

♥ Julia