I begin this post with no idea, really, of what i'm going to say. I don't have any big story of fearlessness to tell you this morning. I'm simply beginning from this place of not knowing and curiosity for what might decide to come through.
After coaxing my little ones out of their sleepy beds this morning and scrambling to get them dressed/brushed/fed/sunblocked and out the door for camp, i sit here in the morning sun, a hint of sweet coolness still in the air, sipping tea, and wondering what this fearLESS Friday post might be about.
Life has been very full lately; of travel, social time with friends; household maintenance, a little painting here and there, lots of time with my little ones. I've been noticing some growing anxiety, wondering how i'll ever catch up with all that seems to need doing. I've been feeling torn between spending quality time with my girls & trying to squeeze in some time for creating. And there is always the nagging house maintenance stuff. I'm noticing an underlying feeling of urgency, feeling a pressure to create, to make something happen in my life. Feeling like i'm not doing enough. And that what i am doing isn't good enough.
And, of course, this feeling of urgency takes me out of the precious present moment and i miss all kinds of beauty and goodness.
It can be so difficult to let go and trust. To trust that i don't need to "make" anything happen, to trust that there is no greater pleasure than fully showing up in this exact present moment. I know that peace comes when I embrace, rather than run from, what is before me. Even when what is right before me is tantruming, fighting, tattle tailing (adorable) little girls. I've been noticing how often i struggle against what is, thinking that peace will come, when....
So, this is it, my fearlessness for today, for this moment and in moments to come; to settle in to whatever is before me. To trust in divine timing. To practice patience. To trust that if i continue to show up openly and wholeheartedly, the hows will reveal themseleves. To know that the only thing that is urgent is what is right before me.
Sometimes fearlessness is loud and action-packed, sometimes it's subtle and quiet. Always, i think, it's about opening and listening and showing up fully and honestly for what's right here, right now. Knowing that there is nothing more fearless and brave and awake than that.