Life is not a straight line. It's a downpour of gifts, please – hold out your hand

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Thank you for being here. I'm so glad you're here.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Who Does She Think She Is?

I was first introduced to this video, "Who Does She Think She Is?" through Kelly Rae Robert's amazing "Flying Lessons" class. It immediately resonated. I just stumbled upon it again on another blog and decided i need to share it here. For some reason i'm having trouble embedding the video here so please head over there and watch for yourself (before you read the rest of this!)  Simply click on the above link.

It feels especially relevant today as i sit here feeling overwhelmed and not so good about the way my morning went with my little ones. The truth is, i haven't had the best mommy days lately. This feeling pulled/torn between motherhood and creating has been an ongoing theme in my life.

I know the answer is to be where i am, to be present. To let go. To trust.

But, of course, that is much easier said than done. Sometimes when the inspiration to create comes, i am smack dab in the middle of things with my kids; trying to break up a pinching, yelling fight, mixing up batter to make them their beloved pancakes, tucking them into bed at night. I so want to be present and patient but i also really want to finish that elephant painting that i started a week ago and haven't been able to get back to.

And then there is the craft show that i am showing my art at in less than two weeks...and haven't even begun to prepare for. And this blog that i so want to keep up with. And household stuff. And on and on. Does this sound familiar? Not just because i mention these struggles here often, but because we all have these things, these dozens of directions we're being pulled in, whether or not we are mommies or not.

Then there is that useless, dumb emotion, that just loves to show it's dumb face, over and over again. Guilt. Blah. Feeling bad that i wasn't more present with my kids this morning, that i wasn't patient enough, that i was on the computer too long, that i didn't give them the "right" kind of attention, etc...

So, that's me today. Showing up. Letting go. Knowing that the little me can't take on all of this...turning it over. Believing in divine timing. Trusting that it's all exactly as it should be. Embracing the pretty with the not so pretty.

Allowing room for the picture to look just as it does.

***P.S:  Please stay tuned for my second very special guest post on Friday!

3 comments :

  1. This movie REALLY resonated with me too... especially the part where no one could name ONE female painter... ugh! And the part where you could not be a serious painter and a mommy... double uargh! So lovely to connect with a fellow Flyer and this beautiful supportive community on FB. Thanks for stopping by my blog. So nice to e-meet you! Love & blessings, xoxo Valerie

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  2. "Showing up. Letting go. Knowing that the little me can't take on all of this...turning it over. Believing in divine timing. Trusting that it's all exactly as it should be. Embracing the pretty with the not so pretty."

    Exactly. Something I am always trying to internalize on a deeper level. Thank you for sharing in such an honest way.

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  3. Wow I REALLY want to see this movie. I just watched the trailer. I feel so overwhelmed and I am not a full-time (step) mom since my husband's daughter lives with her mom too. I don't know how women do it will little kids. Honestly, my heart goes out to you. There is so much pressure on moms I think. I love that you are just showing up and letting go. That is all we can do. Thanks for reminding me with this beautifully written post. xoxo

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What are you thinking/feeling? I'd really love to know...

♥ Julia