The day I turned 40 I woke up and thought, “That’s it, I’m too old to be afraid.” Afraid of people and what they might think, or say about me. Afraid of making the wrong choice. Afraid that being me meant being less than other people. Turning 40 felt empowering. I could look back at teenagers, twenty-somethings, even people in their 30s, and laugh at their inexperience. I strode out on that day determined not to be afraid.
Scared Old Self: “Yes, yes, I hear you. But’s it’s not that easy. I would like to ask him to join me, but, really, what if I were truly bugging him?"
Brave New Self: “He’s reading the NEWSpaper. It’s a cry for company. Just go ask him."
Scared Old Self: “No … no, I can’t do it.”
Brave New Self: "But you’re 40 now!"
Scared Old Self: “Yeah, I know. But I can’t.”
And that’s where the conversation ended.
Karen Campbell is a woman in transition. She lives with a man and a dog and an ever increasing sense of expansion.