Life is not a straight line. It's a downpour of gifts, please – hold out your hand

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Thank you for being here. I'm so glad you're here.

Monday, December 13, 2010

Vermont

I'm far away from my husband & little ones, here in Vermont visiting my sweet parents and little sister.  I came home to surprise my Dad for his 65th birthday...he didn't know I was coming and everytime I thought about how he would respond when I rang the doorbell the night of his big birthday party (which was last Friday), I got giddy inside.  My Mom (who isn't known for her secret-keeping skills) somehow managed to keep the secret from him for months. 

But things didn't quite go as planned. 

It turns out my older brother called from California an hour before I was planning on ringing the doorbell and very enthusiastically asked my Dad, "Is Julia there yet?"   So.  And then my mom called my sister and me to let us know "the cat was out of the bag."  And then we all talked about how bummed we were for a few minutes.  And it was a little painful.  And then we let it go mostly.  And then, instead of ringing the doorbell, I just walked right into the house and my Dad smiled a big smile and we hugged a big hug and had a really fun fun evening. 

For some reason the surprise part wasn't supposed to happen but all the love and fun happened anyway and it was all very very good.  I've been out west, living away from my parents for very close to 20 years, so it's very nice to be close to these beautiful people who love me so. 

I've been doing my best to stay off the computer so that I can be extra present with what's right in front of me.  And it's been good.  But I'm also missing this space and all the sweet, sweet connections that have come since I started putting words on this page.  It's good to be here today. 

The airplane will take me back home to my other sweet people tomorrow afternoon (assuming all of the rain/freezing rain/snow doesn't decide to keep me here). We shall see.  More and more I realize how, often, I don't get to decide. But I always, always get to decide how I will respond to what happens.  Knowing this feels a lot like relief. 

Just show up, turn it over, trust, allow love to take the lead...that sounds good to me.

Sending my love to all of you.  xo

4 comments :

  1. oh julia, how special! this brought tears to my eyes.
    i always get to decide how i will respond to what happens. i love this!! your writing always always always inspires me.
    enjoy your time and have a safe flight home.

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  2. "More and more I realize how, often, I don't get to decide. But I always, always get to decide how I will respond to what happens. Knowing this feels a lot like relief."

    So profound. Thank you! I miss you! Thank you for sharing your experience. I can't wait to catch up with you in the flesh.

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  3. Julia,


    What a great story. Even though you and your dad both experienced a much different time frame of anticipation, I'm sure the last few minutes were just as meaningful for both of you. Enjoy every minute with your family.
    Thanks for sharing your story.

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  4. Oh Julia! I'm so grateful to read your words again. And like Brooke, I love your line about choosing how you respond. Yes, yes, yes. Thank you life for teaching me the sweetest of lessons.

    xxx

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What are you thinking/feeling? I'd really love to know...

♥ Julia