Life is not a straight line. It's a downpour of gifts, please – hold out your hand

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Thank you for being here. I'm so glad you're here.

Friday, January 21, 2011

Things

that scare me


*Not living to my "full potential"
*Not being able to lose weight
*Becoming lazy
*Being misunderstood
*Never making money
*Spiders, rats, snakes
*Being perceived as inauthentic
*Letting my fears immobilize me
*People I love dying
*Hurting people
*Losing my zest for life
*Freezing to death
*Looking stupid in front of people
*Harming my children in any way
*Other people harming my children in any way
*My children harming themselves in any way
*Forgetting something really important
*Tempers
*Closed mindedness
*Settling
*People who don't tell the truth
*Not being free
*Physical pain
*Losing my mind
*Not losing my mind
*Not living in Love

In the book, The Passionate Mind Revisited, it says this: 

Freedom from fear does not come from having any ideas about what that means.  In order to utilize fear as the great teacher it is, one must actually be the fear, live with it as a moment-to-moment thing, see how it crops up, how it can destroy real relationship in the moment.  To see fear totally, is a shift of awareness that has its own movement.  By experiencing the nature of fear, a freedom can come that is different from anything that one seeks.

and this:

To want to be free of fear all the time is to be afraid of being afraid.  This is only fear in disguise.

and this:

Fear is a great teacher.  To watch fear, to attend to it, without trying to make it go away, to just watch it while being in it is to learn about yourself.  It's a key to finding out the nature, depth, and degree of your attachment to various ideas, feelings, thought structures, and ways of being.  Seeing how thought wraps around fear can give you a greater range of possibilities in dealing with the insidious tendrils of fear.

I find all of this very interesting.  One thing I know for sure is that what I resist persists--always. What I keep in the dark, gets darker. I see that in order to develop a liberating relationship with fear, I must allow it to be a great teacher--not by trying to get rid of it, but by being with it, opening to it, developing a curiosity about it--bringing it out into the light

So that's what I'm doing today, bringing them out here in the light.  They look much prettier out here.

8 comments :

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  2. Julia,

    your words really sang to me today.

    When I read the list at the top, it was all to familiar to me. I totally saw myself. What a beautiful list... and even more beautiful when you wrote, "So that's what I'm doing today, bringing them our here in the light. They look much prettier in the light." LOVE IT!
    xoxo

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  3. this really hit home for me today. thank you for sharing. this week has been a challenge. just before i thought i couldnt take any more, i realize that i have to be strong and protect what is truly sacred. i will not back down and be in fear of standing up for what i believe is right and the best for my sweet little one.
    hope you and your family have a wonderful weekend full of love and lots and lots of fun=)

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  4. So good to get your fears in a list. I think I'll do that. You know my first thought when I read it is you don't have too many!!!

    Okay, these quotes are amazing. I have to check out this book!!!!! This helped me so much today. There is one thing that creeps up on me when I am in a really good place, and it can derail me. This helped me to see the fear that comes up with it. Thank you wise friend.

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  5. Oh, and bringing it into the light-key point--especially if you just can't carry fear anymore!

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  6. Julia... you are so bang on the head of the nail for me, every single time.

    This post is amazing. I love the words about attending to fear, being present with it, watching it, rather than trying to get rid of it, rather even than trying to make it transform into something else.

    Me feeling the fear today has led to them looking 'much prettier' and, lo and behold, creativity, freedom and play rush in! - and I probably share every single fear that's on your list, too. Hooray for honesty!

    xxx

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  7. Wow. What a brave list. Being present with the fear- I love that you brought it all into the light. I am going to make a list too...

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  8. Hello sweet friend. I peek at your blog from time to time and always find it comforting. Even though we don't maintain constant communication and are not friends from way back when, I feel like you are a soul sister. This list of fears could have been written by me (minus the children, although I certainly worry about Chelsea). Simply seeing those fears written and knowing I'm not alone having such fears woke me up today. Thank you for sharing and for keeping your blog going. It truly is inspiring.

    Tons of love, Shanna

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What are you thinking/feeling? I'd really love to know...

♥ Julia