Life is not a straight line. It's a downpour of gifts, please – hold out your hand

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Thank you for being here. I'm so glad you're here.

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

This morning

while it rains like it forgot how to stop, I sit inside with hot tea, a lit candle, a fleecy blanket on my lap, a snoring old dog next to me...inhaling deeply, feeling very thankful that I have a little time to slow down, quiet my busy mind & tune in to the quiet breathing part of me.


My family & I went away for the long weekend with some friends to the gorgeous, pristine Metolius River, about 2 hours southeast of where we live. It was a good, peaceful thing to fall asleep and wake to the sound of the river. It was good to leave the computer behind and live simply for a couple of days.  And now, it's good to be back.  But, I have to say, my mind is really wanting me to get overwhelmed with all that I "need" to do to play catch up. But I'm not listening. Or, I should say, I'm doing my best not to listen.

I am learning that the more active my mind tries to become, the more I must say yes to quieting it, to becoming diligent about not letting it carry me away. So, even though the list of "to dos" is very long, I'm sitting quietly, breathing deeply, saying thank you for all that is good and right in my world.

My beautiful friend, Alia and I are 31 days into our "Simply Say Yes" journey...you can read more about this here, on my page, and, here, on Alia's page--brave girl that she is, she created this video about her experience.  So, today I'm pausing to think about what these last 31 days have been for me.  I'm finding myself wanting to report something very profound here---my mind keeps wanting to come up with some concrete, nailed down, measurable example of what has come out of these weeks of saying yes.  The truth is, it's all very subtle and can't be seen or measured...it's been a very internal, quiet experience.  It's really been about me listening to my "truth teller."  (Truth Teller is a term that I learned from this amazing class.)  What I mean by listening to my truth teller is, I've been consciously choosing not to listen to those self-defeating, critical voices that sometimes try to take over and convince me of all kinds of things that do not serve me.  I am consciously, on a very moment to moment basis, choosing to listen only to that which is loving and helpful and sweet...and when I choose otherwise, I am doing my best to be compassionate and gentle with myself.  In other words, I am cutting myself a lot of slack, I'm allowing myself to be human--because I am very much human.

One of the things that I find myself doing, sometimes very much against the will of my little mind, is to simply stop the doing and consciously slow it all down. I know that the only way to hear those quiet little voices that speak the truth and serve my higher good, is to hush the other well-worn-groove/broken record/conditioned voices.  I will in no way claim that this has been easy.  Like I said, it's a moment to moment choosing.  Having made a commitment out loud to all of you to say yes to that which is True has played such a big part in this experience.  So, I thank you all for bearing witness.

I have so much more to say, but it will have to wait a bit...I've got a sweet little girl next to me that wants a little mommy time and that is something I very much want to say yes to.

For now, I'm sending all of you a whole lot of love.  Thank you for being here with me.

4 comments :

  1. Julia,

    I felt so calm and peaceful while reading your words. Such a beautiful journey you have been on.

    “It's all very subtle and can't be seen or measured” Yes, those are the moments that can be the most profound experiences.

    I absolutely loved the imagery " hush the other well-worn-groove-broken-record-conditioned voices” ... Oh, how I can relate.

    Love your words ... You shine, my friend.
    xoxo

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  2. Julia, your words always reach the deep depths of my heart and bring me closer to who I really am. Thank you for sharing the beauty and love that you are. I am saying yes to Truth in this moment.

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  3. when we remember to live - with lots of silence and room to hear the thoughts rushing around our heads - we somehow find peace - its just to remember, to remember - to slow down, to sit with what is and let things unfold as they will. thank-you for reminding me of the peace that is waiting for me in the silence.

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  4. I've made my way here from Carry It Forward, based on Christa's recommendation, and I am so glad I did!! This post resonates so deeply as I continue to walk a new path of my own. This part in particular I just heaved a huge sigh of yes to:

    The truth is, it's all very subtle and can't be seen or measured...it's been a very internal, quiet experience.

    I've never read it articulated quite so, and yet that is the most perfect description of my own journey.

    I'll be back!

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What are you thinking/feeling? I'd really love to know...

♥ Julia