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Friday, June 3, 2011

Hidden in the Ground

"Patience is a hard discipline.  It is not just waiting until something happens over which we have no control:  the arrival of the bus, the end of the rain, the return of a friend, the resolution of a conflict.  Patience is not waiting passively until someone else does something.  Patience asks us to live the moment to the fullest, to be completely present to the moment, to taste the here and now, to be where we are.  When we are impatient, we try to get away from where we are.  We behave as if the real thing will happen tomorrow, later, and somewhere else.  Let's be patient and trust that the treasure we look for is hidden in the ground on which we stand."  Henri Nouwen 

When I came across the above words, I breathed a huge sigh of relief.  These words helped me to remember what seems to be very easy to forget.  They helped me to remember to stay where I am, to let go of thoughts that tell me something else should be happening, to let go of  thoughts that insist that I should be somewhere I'm not, that I should be more than I am.  Or maybe that they should be more.

I have a mentor that has a phrase she says a lot--

Stop shoulding on yourself.  

Don't you just love that?  What if we let go of the shoulds? What if we chose to eliminate the 'S" word from our vocabulary?  Like, completely stopped using it and thinking it all together.  I think there would be some serious relief. I think wide open space would be created for sacred things to enter.  Sacred things.  Like taking conscious, deep breaths, like noticing the way the the sunshine feels on your face, like truly Seeing the tiny buds and blooming flowers or the look in your little one's eyes.

There is this beautiful, breathing place we can access when we slow way down, when we stop shoulding on ourselves...all the wisdom and softness and peace in the world rests Here.

I am learning that when I stop the shoulds and quiet down and ask and wait with trust and patience, quiet little sweet answers come through, all on their very own--no pushing or trying to figure out or forcing or feelings of urgency necessary.  Just quiet little beams of light that feel soft and right.  And, guess what?  These little beams of light come through in the moment, in the here and now--not tomorrow or later.  When we drop it all and decide to be where we are, to truly be HERE, tasting and listening and breathing it all in---we find treasures beyond what we could ever think up or imagine.

And they're all right here, hidden in the ground in which we stand.

fearLESS Friday stretch:

Start noticing all the times you should on yourself.  Notice how it feels, what sensations do you feel in your body when you think you (or they) should?  Each time you feel a should, pause & drop into the space of NOW...tune IN to the moment, and, rather than forcing a decision or shoulding on yourself, ask for guidance.  And then open & listen with patience and trust...and then watch the treasures come.


  1. Julie,

    I know about the”shoulds’ all too much.

    I was surrounded by “shoulds” during my “growing up” years. “Should" is a huge trigger for me.

    I consciously choose to NOT to give the “shoulds" my power. When I do give my power away to it, there are too many regrets, too much doubt, and not enough of “being enough".

    Such a beautiful reminder.
    Thank you. Your words are always so inspiring.

    Enjoy the weekend and remember how much you are loved.

  2. My mother is a great one for shoulding. Me, less so but it takes effort to resist. Lovely blog, I'll be back.

  3. Thank you, Julia. The 'shoulding' can be so sneaky! Thanks for the reminders and exercise. Have a beautiful weekend. XO

  4. This is just what I needed to hear right now. It is time to eliminate that "s" word from my vocabulary once and for all! :) Thank you for your inspiration and love.

  5. this patience definition
    is very helpful.
    thank you, friend.

  6. Thank you SO much for posting this- I'm really struggling with this right now and I needed to read this. Thank you so much!

  7. I did this this weekend, without anywhere to be, and because of surprising lovely weather, i was able to settle in and just be, with my family and myself. It was wonderful.

  8. I know, right? I should all over myself. That is a constant work in progress. Thank you for this reminder!

    You know, Jay brings up Corvallis a lot! We are thinking of planning another trip to Oregon and including Corvallis. Seriously, you guys SOLD Jay on the place- plus we adored you both :) (I am a little scared to move, honesty. Jay, less so.)

  9. Hi Julie,
    I'm so happy to have found your blog and thank you for this lovely post : ) The line "all the wisdom and softness and peace in the world rests Here" was especially powerful to me. I have been feeling lately like everything I'm doing is not enough. Like I need to be taking bigger steps, that I need to be somewhere else where I can grow more into the person I want to be and truly am. Some days I feel like I get nothing done. Your reminder was exactly what I need. Each day is such a precious gift and I should revel in the beauty of each moment rather than wishing for something else.
    I'm looking forward to following your blog!
    Wishing you all the best,

  10. Ahhhhh, yes! I've only just seen this post - it's exactly what I need to hear today (as you'll see in a post I've just written but have yet to publish).

    Patience. Trust. Breathe. Attend to the immediate moment - like the hunger in my belly and the aching in my shoulders.

    All will be revealed.



What are you thinking/feeling? I'd really love to know...

♥ Julia