Life is not a straight line. It's a downpour of gifts, please – hold out your hand

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Thank you for being here. I'm so glad you're here.

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Love


"With our hearts in the right place, full of love & faith, we're gonna be okay- I know this now. I live & breathe this."  Amanda Oaks


You know how sometimes things can seem so hard and so tender, like someone flipped a switch and you find yourself flailing around, searching for little cracks of light. But, for some reason, you can't seem to find any?Sometimes days can go by with hardly a glimmer.  And you wonder what it was that had you elated and inspired, full of sparks and light, a week ago. And you try and gather enough courage to begin again, just a little to hold in the palm of your hand, but you can't seem to figure out where courage went.

And then, something happens.  Someone looks at you a certain way--with concern or true caring--or a complete stranger takes a minute to smile, a smile that is meant just for you. Or you stumble across words that someone's heart wrote, or your child tenderly takes your hand and tells you she loves you, even when you're cranky. Or maybe you have a dream that you're swimming in a sea of love and that all of that love is meant, was always meant, just for you.

And then, you remember. 

You remember that it's not about how much time you have or don't have.
You remember that it's not about what you get done or check off.
You remember that it's not about figuring it out.
You remember that it's not about what you can measure or count or hold in your hand. 
You remember that it's not about what the scale says or whether those pants will ever fit again.  
You remember that it's not about being right or proving your worth.
You remember that it's not about numbers or accolades.
You remember that it's not about what you're not getting.
You remember that it's not about the kids fighting and not listening
You remember that it's not about being the "best" or the "greatest"
You remember that it's not about fixing what seems to be broken.

You remember that it's all about just one thing, that it was never ever about anything else. You're hit over the head with this knowing, with this remembering, and your heart is, once again, cracked wide open. And the light, that is meant just for you, pours in. Slowly at first--gently.

This is how it's been for me this last week or so.  Remembering and forgetting. And remembering again.  I want now to share with you the angels that have been the cracks, the cracks that have allowed the light to get in.  

These words shared by Amanda Oaks, from Kind Over Matter, burst my heart wide open. 

The below words, written by my beautiful friend, Brooke, shifted and stirred my insides:

I just want to sit with you, and tell you to watch it all unfold--that you are not alone-- to be patient. Then I want to be quiet. I want to witness you discover that you've never been alone, and watch it dawn on your face, moving way past the wishful thinking stage.


And I want to get out of your way. I want to rest as an indirect participant, as part of color and hue, as perfect poem that scratches the record, igniting the dance.


Amanda and Brooke; smiling stranger in the coffee shop;  last night's dream of swimming in a sea of love; Alia with all of your tenderness and caring; beautiful, little, freckled-cheeked, shining girls of mine; Heather with the hug that melted me and filled me at the same time; sunshine and clouds and cool breeze; hummingbird out the window; 


thank you for helping me to remember that it's all about just one word. 

Just one.  


And that a little of it goes a long, long way.

8 comments :

  1. Julia,

    I keep re-reading this because it's so very moving. And so true, how we feel so uplifted one day, then down and discouraged the next. I have felt all of that in the last few days. Your words are just the message my heart needs today.

    One of the reasons I love the Harry Potter books is that each part proclaims that Love is greater than any magic.

    And as you have pointed out here, Love is greater than anything...we just need to open up and share.

    Blessings and much love to you!
    Deb

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  2. So honored to be one of the angels! Even though what I wrote was so heart-felt for me, I am awed that it was a gift to you too. Thank you for sharing your sweet return, and for reminding me that taking the time to spill our hearts into our creations is so important--we just never know who we might touch--and it all comes back to us, and creates this sea of love you were dreaming about:) XO Loving you.

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  3. Beautiful, I love you. No words, so much love.

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  4. Thank you Julia. It amazes me just how often I come here and read just the words I need. Forgetting and remembering here too. How do you know exactly how it is? Much love.

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  5. yes! light & love & angels & amazement,
    all in the cracks...xoxox!!!

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  6. Exquisitely beautiful image..and such inspiring thoughts!!! Thank-you for sharing..

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  7. What a beautiful post. Thank you, as always, for sharing your heart.

    It was such a gift to see you yesterday. I felt such empathy for you and your state of mind. I am fairly certain I was in the same place just last week. What great timing to see you when I had finally emerged from my whole spinning space, and to have the energy and strength to reach out and provide you comfort. What a wonderful feeling it was to wrap my arms around you and tell you knowingly that this too shall pass. Our hug was as much of a gift to me as it was to you.

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  8. Julia, I love you dearly. You are so beautiful and divine. You are LOVE, my friend. Pure love. I just want to give you a big hug right now. Here it is....

    xoxo

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♥ Julia