Life is not a straight line. It's a downpour of gifts, please – hold out your hand

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Thank you for being here. I'm so glad you're here.

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Staying Awake


"I pray that each of us stays awake as we fall.  I pray that we choose to go into the abyss willingly and that our fall is cushioned by faith--faith that at the bottom we will be caught and taught and turned toward the light.  I pray that we don't waste precious energy feeling ashamed of our mistakes, or embarrassed by our flaws.  After years of teaching, I know only a few things for sure.  One is this:  We are chunks of dense matter that need to be cracked open.  Our errors and failings are chinks in the heart's armor through which our true colors shine."  Elizabeth Lesser


I wasn't planning on posting anything today but since I've got the blues and writing often helps me stay awake to what's going on inside, and sometimes helps me get to the other side of the blues and blahs, here I am.

I so love the above prayer written by Elizabeth Lesser, from her book Broken Open.  That our fall is cushioned by faith--faith that at the bottom we will be caught and taught and turned toward the light.  How beautiful is that?  I love that it doesn't say avoid the fall at all costs or pretend that you are one who does not fall or resist the hell out of the fall. 

To stay awake as we fall.   

This is my prayer for me and for you...that we stay awake, that we allow ourselves to simply be where we are.  That we do not feel ashamed or embarrassed or like we need to hide or cover up the blues and blahs.  How beautiful would it be if we could all just be real about where we are, about what's inside-no apologies.  If we could stand by ready to catch with  cushioned compassion and allow ourselves to fall willingly and be gently caught.  If, through it all, we could stay awake to this deep, rich undercurrent of faith....faith strong enough to move mountains, to hold hearts and oceans, to allow the light to come in and the True colors to shine--all of the colors, not just the pretty ones. 

Will you let me hold your heart in mine
just for a minute
just for one beautiful breath
or two?
I so want you to know how deeply
how very deeply
I Love
every single bit
of colorful you

The little poem above just came through...it wouldn't let me not write it.  See, this is what I mean about writing, about any form of creation.  It heals, it holds, it sees and tells the truth.  

My greatest desire in all the world is to hold and be held, to Connect with a capital C. To heal and be healed.  To see and be seen. To love and be loved----fully.  Completely.   Here I am....shouting it out to the world, to all who read or don't read my words.  To all who take the time to connect.  Or not.  I want to love with a capital L.  I want to crack wide open all that stands in the way of true Truth and true Love and True Colors.

I want to to hold your heart in mine like it is my own.  Because, really, it is.


P.S:  My poem Dear You is over at Christa's gorgeous space, Carry it Forward today...such an honor.  Thank you so much, Christa.


13 comments :

  1. 'If we could stand by ready to catch with cushioned compassion and allow ourselves to fall willingly and be gently caught. If, through it all, we could stay awake to this deep, rich undercurrent of faith....faith strong enough to move mountains, to hold hearts and oceans, to allow the light to come in and the True colors to shine--all of the colors, not just the pretty ones.'

    So beautiful, Julia. This is the new world. I am sure of it, and I love that I don't have to wonder anymore. A world that allows for all of it, a divine hand giving meaning to all of it, cultivating durable faith--for all of the colors--even the less desirable ones.

    Thank you for standing for nothing less than connection, and for bearing your honest and vulnerable soul.

    You are loved. You've always been loved.

    (don't know why it won't let me post with my account!)

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  2. Oh yes - I'll let you hold my heart in yours for as many minutes as grace allows us in the communion of our paths.

    Beautiful as always - I'm so glad you wrote today!! XXOO

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  3. I love you immensely, dear Julia. This post moved me deeply.

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  4. I'm a new reader and LOVE your blog and artwork. I live in the Eugene area - have you showed your work here before? Your paintings seemed very familiar to me. <3 April

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  5. I just read this beautiful post - after I emailed you. This is exactly what I was trying to say - the words that you wove so exquisitely in this poem.

    We hold each other in our hearts, hold space for each other, image wonderful outcomes for our friends... and it loops back and forth, like a wave ebbing and flowing. We just do.

    XOXO and thanks to you.

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  6. the blues? i'm arriving to also hold you
    with oranges and greens. and trees and song.
    and to Connect. xoxox

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  7. Dear beautiful readers,

    Your words are such a blessing. Thank you for taking the time to connect.

    April, I did show my work at a little craft fair in Eugene(several months ago)...did you happen to be at a craft show called "Meet Your Maker"? So glad you're here.

    Sending Love to each of you today.

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  9. Julia,
    I’m sending you big hugs and lots of sunshine.
    I deleted the previous comment because of a big typo.
    Love to you, my friend,
    Eydie

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  10. I'm a newbie, brought here by your amazing poem used on Carry it forward, and I have to tell you how this post was just what I needed to read today! As I read your words, poem and the quote, something resonated deep inside, a pure physical reaction & I thought YES! This echoes what I am searching for, this acceptance, eyes wide open, of all the parts, emotions - good & so called bad or unacceptable. I don't often post comments, so let that be a testament to the power of this post, of the magic of your openness. I look forward to reading more.

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  11. Thank you lovely Julia for opening yourself to us in your vulnerability, your not not writing the poem that simply had to come through (which I adore!), for each moment.

    You teach me that it's really okay to be achey, tired, a bit middle of the road, expanding, full of bursts of exquisiteness... all of it.

    Thank you.
    Love,
    Elloa xx

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  12. The little poem above just came through...it wouldn't let me not write it. See, this is what I mean about writing, about any form of creation. It heals, it holds, it sees and tells the truth....this is so powerful Julia. I love that so much. That is the beauty of creating that I am really starting to GET. I am also seeing that creativity and spirituality are interconnected. They are the same.

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  13. Julia,
    This is beautiful. Thank you. I hope that some day soon I will be able to express myself in the way that you do - so deeply and openly and eloquently.

    I fell that you have put into words my own soul's deepest desire: "y greatest desire in all the world is to hold and be held, to Connect with a capital C. To heal and be healed. To see and be seen. To love and be loved----fully. Completely."

    Thank you.

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What are you thinking/feeling? I'd really love to know...

♥ Julia