Life is not a straight line. It's a downpour of gifts, please – hold out your hand

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Thank you for being here. I'm so glad you're here.

Thursday, August 11, 2011

The truth Is


"If you're interested in opening the door to the heavens, start with the door to your own secret self.  See what happens when you offer to another a glimpse of who you really are.  Start slowly.  Without getting dramatic, share the simple dignity of yourself in each moment--your triumphs and your failures, your satisfaction and your sorrow.  Face your embarrassment at being human, and you'll uncover a deep well of passion and compassion.  When your heart is undefended, you make it safe for whomever you meet to put down his burden of hiding, and then you both can walk through the open door."  Elizabeth Lesser

Photo found here

It's just me here outside on my back deck, a blank white screen in front of me, sunshine, a just-right breeze, not just a cup of tea but a whole pretty pot, wooden wind chimes making their music, chirping pretty birds, warmth on my arms--the rest of me shaded and cool.  Deep, cleansing breaths. Time.

I can't quite convey to you, you who is reading this, how very much I've needed this time of reconnecting with me.  It's long over-due and just the right time and deeply appreciated.

The truth is

I've been running at such a pace, packing and unpacking and packing again, mothering & mothering more, going and coming and going again, that I've forgotten to take deep breaths and tune in to Me.  

The truth is, over the last several days, I've forgotten to ask my body what it wants and needs.

The truth is that lately I've allowed my mind to have a field day with doubt and worry, expectations, lack...

The truth is I've been forgetting to say thank you for what I have and for all the good that is happening and have been focusing on what I don't yet have, what isn't happening

The truth is that often I get so completely overwhelmed with all the choices I could make that I stay stuck and stagnant and anxious

The truth is I've been forgetting to value what I need more than anything---which is time to breathe and listen to what my insides are saying, time to slow down and sit and connect with the part of me that knows real Truth

The truth is that I have such a deep longing to go back to Taos, New Mexico that I ache inside

The truth is that I have less and less patience for people who are unwilling to tell the truth

The truth is that, on this 28th day of Learning to Love This Body of Mine, I'm deeply frustrated with my body for not responding to healthy eating and exercise the way my mind thinks it should be responding. I feel a little betrayed and a lot frustrated...despite the fact that my body feels better

The truth is that lately I have felt more like hiding than coming here and telling the truth

The truth is my little girl's attachment/fear/mind issues have resulted in me feeling very attached & fearful & full of mind

The truth is, more than anything in the whole wide world, I want to be FREE and full of Truth so that I may inspire others to be the same & I want to touch and inspire people on a very wide-reaching scale, but sometimes, often, I have no idea of how to do this

The truth is I want to make money doing what I am absolutely passionate about but I don't know how to do that

The truth is sometimes I fear I will live my whole life and not do what I was put here to do and that scares me a lot

The truth is it's very hard to come here and speak the truth when it doesn't seem so pretty

The truth is sometimes I question the value of coming here and telling the truth

but

what I really know, now that I've had a few moments to release and breathe in all this fresh air, is that I can drop it all--all the worries and stories and fears, all the what ifs and I don't knows. I can drop it all and drop in to what IS right now.  I can allow myself to feel whatever I'm feeling, I can listen to the birds and feel the sunshine.  I can turn it all over and Trust that it's all exactly as it should be.  I can remember who I truly am.

The Truth is that hiding the Truth never feels good. The Truth is there is great value in sharing our Real. The Truth is, in each moment, I can choose to begin again.  The Truth is that I don't have to DO anything to feel ease & peace & goodness...it's right here..it's right now.  It's always.  It's who I am without all the other junk in the way.  It's who you are too.  And the door is wide open.

11 comments :

  1. So beautiful and touching, my friend. The truth is we are right there with you, and you do help us put down our burdens of hiding, so we can just focus on living right beside you. Thank you, deeply. XO

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  2. The truth is...you are amazing, Julia. Your honesty, courage, open heart, and sincere desire to spread so much kindness in the world is the inspiration that has helped me in these last few months.

    Thank you for sharing your Truth. I'm right beside you, too. The whole way.
    Love you.

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  3. Julia,

    Where to start? There is so much beauty and deep, pure truth in this amazing post... So much of it is entirely true to my own experience, and when reading the parts that didn't hold true for me I felt such compassion and love for you. This whole section speaks so eloquently of how I have been feeling:

    The truth is that lately I've allowed my mind to have a field day with doubt and worry, expectations, lack...

    The truth is I've been forgetting to say thank you for what I have and for all the good that is happening and have been focusing on what I don't yet have, what isn't happening

    The truth is that often I get so completely overwhelmed with all the choices I could make that I stay stuck and stagnant and anxious

    The truth is I've been forgetting to value what I need more than anything---which is time to breathe and listen to what my insides are saying, time to slow down and sit and connect with the part of me that knows real Truth

    This section spoke deeply to me as well:

    The truth is, more than anything in the whole wide world, I want to be FREE and full of Truth so that I may inspire others to be the same & I want to touch and inspire people on a very wide-reaching scale, but sometimes, often, I have no idea of how to do this

    The truth is I want to make money doing what I am absolutely passionate about but I don't know how to do that

    The truth is sometimes I fear I will live my whole life and not do what I was put here to do and that scares me a lot

    Oh Julia, I so admire you honesty. I am so grateful for it. In reading your words, I have felt lighter, a bit more free. If it were possible, I would love nothing more than to spend an entire day - days even - talking with you. I feel so burdened and aware and wise beyond by 19 years. I'm grateful to be more in tune with myself and my struggles, and my desires, but I also feel lost and so alone. But today, more than any day, I know that there are people out there who feel so much like I feel and are struggling in the same way.

    I wish you all the best with everything - with finding and accepting and living and loving your truth.

    Sending you so much love and gratitude,
    Grace

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  4. Julia, the truth is this is the truth of so many people including me. I could have written these words right now in my life because so much of them are my truth as well. Thank you for sharing your beautiful self with me.

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  5. Julia, the truth is that you have become an important part of my life though we've never met and my heart always leaps when I see Painted Path in my inbox as I know it will bring connection, painful but healing honesty and inspiration. Please take care of you! With love from Pam in DC.

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  6. Brooke, Alia, Grace, Stephanie, Pam...thank you so much for taking the time to connect here. Your presence makes all the difference--it's like balm for my heart.

    I feel deeply blessed to be surrounded by such beautiful, supportive women.

    With love & gratitude,

    Julia

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  7. Julia,

    Thank you for the wonderful, heart-warming message on my blog. I'm so happy that you enjoy my little space that I've created. I hope to some day create a space as beautiful, inspiring, insightful, and deep as yours.

    I think we can never be wrong when we share our truth. In fact, I think it's one of the most divine, beautiful things. The hard part is knowing our truth, I think.

    I am so happy to have "met" you through your blog, Julia. I do feel like we have quite a lot in common : ) It's so fun to read your "me" page, because I agreed completely with so many of your statements. It IS so comforting to see ourselves in each other, as you said.

    It's so nice to know that I have a place (virtual as it may be : ) to come to when things get rough - and when they are joyful and beautiful! Thank you so much for that. Let's keep finding, embracing, and living our truth!

    Much much love,
    Grace

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  8. Julia,

    I was feeling a bit in the funk today with all my truths. Thank you for sharing some my truths with me. Your words (truths) echoed what I am experiencing, feeling, and doubting right now. I kept reading and say ... yes ... yes ... this is how I feel!

    The truth is ... time is moving so quickly for me ... So much of what I want to do, is not getting done. I so related to your words ... in so many ways.

    The truth is ... is OK to be exactly where we are.

    I’m sending you big HUGS and lots of LOVE.

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  9. The truth is, Julia, that all of this is true. And one more thing, too - that you are not alone. Ever.

    Love to you,

    C

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  10. Julia, I know exactly how you feel. I will send some prayers your way. Look for them in a puffy, white cloud. Mae B. Unomi

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  11. Julia, I love this and I hope you don't mind that I referenced it in my blog post for today. http://poeticaperture.com/2011/08/16/surrendering/

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What are you thinking/feeling? I'd really love to know...

♥ Julia