Life is not a straight line. It's a downpour of gifts, please – hold out your hand

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Thank you for being here. I'm so glad you're here.

Monday, September 12, 2011

Transition


Everybody wants to rush through transition like it’s a bad root canal. But transition is a threshold. It’s a sacred appointment—the crossing from one world to another. There are promises, insights, revelations, and messages during this time. You will not escape yourself here. You will not escape your deepest questions. This is a blessing.  Tama Kieves



So, I'm giggling a bit here.  I realized, after I posted my last post, and after a few comments came in, that my words could have easily been misinterpreted .  When I wrote

a whole new chapter of my life is beginning and I can't wait to come here and tell you about it

I was referring to this being the first year my little ones will both be in school full time and the reality that this is going to open up time & creative opportunities.  I have hints of what is to come, but truly, it's all pretty much a great big mystery to me.  I know this means I will have time to work on one of my dreams (which is to publish a book of my poetry & art) and that I will now have more than a couple of hours a day to explore the many ideas/sparks of inspiration that have come to me over the years.  And I am eager to share this whole new chapter with all of you...the ups and downs, the fears/questions/unknowns & sideways-ness of all of it.  

So, I apologize if you were all waiting for some specific kind of news--it's just a moment by moment, mysterious unfolding here!

And, having said all of that, I have to say, these big unknowns are feeling a little daunting right now.  With all the summertime activity/busyness, I have taken little time to turn inward, which has left a little too much space for my mind to run a little too freely.  My mind  Fear keeps insisting that I must lock in a schedule for my days so that I'm sure not to "waste" a moment of this precious time.  It's also telling me that in order to "justify" this time to myself, I really "need" to "figure out" how I'm going to make money.  All of this pushy-ness is leaving me feeling anxious & afraid & shallow- breathed.   

And my mind is having a field day with the (literal)  extra weight that my body is carrying around...telling me I must figure out how to lose this--that it's absolutely not okay to have this many extra pounds on my body.  

So, the truth is...all of this shit talk from my mind has left me feeling a little  a lot weary.  And very ready to re-center, turn my attention inward, let go of anything that is causing me to feel constricted and anxious.  Ask for guidance.  Say thank you for all that is good and right in my world.

I know there are insights & messages for me here in this place of transition.  I know that the fear that weighs heavily on my chest is there to wake me up.  The tendency is to try and escape discomfort, to run like hell from it.  But I know that in the questions and unknowns, there is great richness.  I know that I can allow all of these tender places inside of me to be, I can sit with & listen to the tenderness rather than cover it up with hardness and to do lists. 

So, I begin here--from right where I am--sitting with discomfort, breathing deeply, ready to listen for what's next.


10 comments :

  1. Hey friend,

    What jumped into my awareness as I read this, waving its hand to get my attention is this: we don't have to do any of this alone. I hope that together, with one another, and with many other angelic souls, that we will find our way together-- we will begin to feel lifted and carried through these transitions. I kind of think it is all about that anyway, don't you. Sending love, and honoring you for sharing so deeply and candidly. XO

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  2. thank you so much for sharing--you are not alone in your feelings. sending lots of love and hugs your way dear friend

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  3. I really appreciate what you wrote here, about Fear making you think thoughts that are not helpful.

    What came to my mind is a little message that keeps coming into my heart lately. "Just crawl over that fence and move on."

    Fences. Fears. Self imposed silly rules. So many things that hold us back.

    I'm sending you peace and love..and looking forward to sharing the journey with you.

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  4. Julia,
    Life is an endless series of transitions.

    May this next one in your life be MAGICAL.
    Hugs

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  5. My dear Julia,

    You have time. And from much further down the mother road, let me tell you that you need to know the back to school formula for the transition.

    It involves three things:
    - a very full bathtub
    - froofy magazines
    - really good chocolate

    You may add candles, but no phone. Set an alarm if you must. Two hours, middle of the day. That's it.

    Sorry you didn't get the memo!

    Oh, and Fear and Rules? They aren't invited!

    XOXO

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  6. Thank you for sharing. As always you have such a way and your words and thoughts speak straight to my heart. As I myself am about to transition into something new, I will take this with me. Thank you.

    Sending you love and hugs to you as you transition into whatever comes next.

    xoxo

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  7. thank you - once again I am inspired, supported and hopeful when I read your words!

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  8. Beautiful women...

    Your words nourish me so. Thank you for taking the time to come here and connect--it means so much.

    Christa, oh how I love your "back to school formula!" I think I now have the permission I was needing...thank you, dear person!

    Sending love to each of you.

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  9. yes! embrace the transition.
    of this much i'm sure.
    what ever lies ahead will be
    lovely because you will live
    in the middle of it. xox

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  10. Hello sweet Julia,

    I just read the Oprah quote at the top of your page and was once again reminded that this moment - full of sadness and grief, confusion and warmth and uncertainty and self-imposed pressure - is the only one I have.

    May your transition be full of hot bubble baths and gentle, quiet nourishment for your soul, body and yes, even your mind.

    xxx

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What are you thinking/feeling? I'd really love to know...

♥ Julia