The first time, I left it on the roof of the rental car at the Boston airport and the rental car people had to call my mom (in Vermont) to see if they could get it back to me before I caught my flight back to Portland (Oregon). The second time (just last weekend) I got another call from my mom saying that the Corvallis Police Department had just called my sister (in Vermont) from my cell phone, saying I had left my phone at the neighborhood park. My sister nearly had a heart attack when she saw it was me calling and then heard a man's voice say This is so and so from the Corvallis Police Department. Five minutes after my mom called, two police officers showed up at my house with my phone. And here's the thing, I could swear I put that phone back in my backpack...it must have somehow fallen out. After the police left, my husband dosed out a little shit (I deserved it) & the two of us stood in the kitchen cracking up.
And, last night, while I was reading to my little ones, I heard my phone ringing, but, for the life of me, I couldn't find it...I really wanted to find it because I knew it was my husband calling from out of town to say goodnight to my girls. So, there we were, the three of us searching every inch of the house for that damn phone. I kept asking my girls (in an irritated/accusing voice) if they had used it and left it somewhere (they do this often) but they both assured me they had not. So, we kept looking and I kept getting more frustrated. My purse was the most likely place it could be, so I looked there several times--one time taking the bag of tootsie rolls out so I could see better what was in my purse. (I bought this bag of tootsie rolls a few days ago, in a fit of craving, I've been getting a lot of those lately- and felt kind of excited when I picked up the bag and it felt heavy...I thought...Oh good, there's more left than I thought.) And I digress. Anyway, there was no phone in my purse...three times of looking and still it wasn't there. So on and on we looked. Just as we were about to give up, I had a little light bulb moment (uh, finally) and it occurred to me to look IN the tootsie roll bag. And guess what? Yep, there it was. Seriously. When I called my husband back I couldn't stop laughing...he was on the other end of the phone repeating, geez, geeeze.
So, there you have it. A little glimpse into the follies of Julia. I could go on and on and on but it's almost time to pick my girls up from school and I really can't forget to do that. And plus, I'm really craving another tootsie roll.
Whatever it is that you perceive as your imperfections, I encourage you to find the humor. It's so much more fun to just laugh your ass off about it.... and if you eat as many tootsie rolls as I've been eating, you're going to need some help with your ass.
P.S: When I told my nine-year-old that I was going to write about the "tootsie roll moment" she said, you know mom, they really need a word for what you are. I said, you mean scatter-brained? And she said, I don't know what the word is but the definition is "Someone who loses something every day of their life and forgets stuff every second." Classic.