Life is not a straight line. It's a downpour of gifts, please – hold out your hand

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Friday, January 6, 2012

A Poetic Plunge

"Breathe-in experience, breathe-out poetry."  ~Muriel Rukeyser

My little Marielle taking the plunge

Okay.  So. I'm not sure where to begin, really.  There has been so much lately. So much clearing, aching, stuff that wants so much to be healed and let go of forever.  There has been longing, softness, releasing, breathing.  There has been a deep knowing that I cannot carry the old anymore, that the patterns/stories/fears that have had me all knotted up forever, have to march on.  There have been deep, deep heart connections.  Vivid, nighttime dreams.  There have been lots of healing tears.  And poetry.  Family time, friend time, quiet time to sit and sit and breathe and wonder at it all.  

And poetry.  Did I mention poetry?  There has been something happening with me & poetry lately--it seems that I can't stop writing it.  And I don't want to stop.  I want to let it come and sit and stay.  I want to breathe it in and let it curl up beside me.  I want to dream it and let it dream me.  

A few weeks ago, I stumbled upon something that continues, on a daily basis, to awe me.  Via beautiful J's site, I discovered this woman.  And can I just say, wow.  If you venture over to her site, I won't have to say anything more. She writes a poem a day and they seriously knock the wind out of me (in a really good way).  Her poems have a way of shifting something inside, like, when you flip something sideways and see it from a whole different perspective.  I walk away wowed and changed somehow.  

With some hesitation around this (the hugeness of the commitment has felt quite daunting--but not nearly as daunting as not committing), I've decided.  I will write a poem a day.  Not for my usual 41 days--that feels too temporary. But for the entire year.  

I'm thinking about it like this....I want this to become a practice, like breathing deeply.  I want this to be an integration of all the other 41 day practices I've done in the past.  I want, each day, to sit and breathe and open and allow something to move through me.  And I want to capture that something with words.  Words that I will write down in my little leather journal, words that I will sometimes come here and share with you.  I want this to help me become quieter, more attentive to the gifts,the beauty, the longing, more present & mindful.  I want it to fill me up and quiet me at the same time.  I want it to help me shed what no longer serves me. I want it to help me become more awake. I want to do this, not with the intention of fixing anything, but with the intention of being with all of it exactly as it is

On New Year's Day, my family and I did something we've never done before. We put our swimsuits on and headed to our local aquatic center where we plunged into a very very cold pool of water. On my way down the really twisty slide, before I hit the shock of cold that left me gasping and exhilarated, I knew this was my way.  My way of deciding to do it differently, of letting go, letting go, letting go of the old and stepping into the brand NEW. That cold water riveted me awake.  Awake and at peace, this is the way I want to live.  

Happy weekend, beautiful ones.



  1. Wishing you a beautiful New Year! I look forward to reading more of your heartfelt poetry.

    Many blessings!


  2. Love that you guys did the pluge into the new year, sounds like a fun :) It's nice to hear that I'm not the only one who struggles to stay in the moment, it's so difficult sometimes. I think the only way to be somewhat successful at it is to be aware as much as possible, at least that's true for me.
    Can't wait to hear more of your poems in the coming months! Love you, Amy xoxo

  3. I love this idea Julia, and I love you, and I'm filled with excitement about what this will surely create and awaken and enliven and shift and do all kinds of beautiful things for you!

    I LOVE how you wrote: "I want to do this, not with the intention of fixing anything, but with the intention of being with all of it exactly as it is."

    Sometimes it's so funny how in sync we are, because today when I was feeling so frustrated and dejected about the emotional eating habits that I have still held on to even after all of the effort I've put into changing it, and I asked myself "what do I need to do?" And for a second or two some of my old thoughts came into my mind ("eat fruit for dessert, just brush my teeth, etc, etc,"), but then it came to me so quickly: I just need to be with my emotions. Be with them as they are - not run from them, avoid them, or push them away. Sit with them, listen to them, love them.

    So here's to "being" in all senses of the word! And here's to the both of us, and our incredible journeys ahead.

    Endless love,

  4. Awake and at peace - yes, I love that!

    I am so excited for you - knowing that you are going where you feel called to go - writing your way through it. What a beautiful gift to give to yourself and each of us! So much love to you as you embrace this new year. ♥

  5. what a fun way to bring in the new year!!!!


What are you thinking/feeling? I'd really love to know...

♥ Julia