Life is not a straight line. It's a downpour of gifts, please – hold out your hand

Thank you for being here. I'm so glad you're here.

Thursday, March 8, 2012

Talk # 4: Aligning, Trusting, Acting...Abundance

I've had a lot of moments of noisy confusion lately but I've also had some beautiful clarity...the below audio is me talking about some of all of that. It all felt a little too much to put into the written word, so, here I am speaking again....

In case you don't get to listen, I want to say what I said at the end of this recording, thank you all SO much for the beautiful, priceless support you've given me here.  Your words of encouragement mean so so very much. 

On another note, and I (and 10 other beautiful souls) have completed our 41 days of 6-Word Days.  This was far more than I could have ever imagined it being--so connecting and soulful.  At the end of the 41 days, J took all of our words and created some read, scroll way down....

Oh, and (as I promised in the audio) here's Christine Kane's web address:

Talk #4:  Aligning, Trusting, Acting...Abundance
I recommend grabbing some headphones for this....

*          *          *
In J's beautiful words....

For 41 days....

we were openhearted, brave, wise, kind, hilarious, happy and sad.
We filled our days with gratitude, affirmations, struggle, release…
yoga like prayer.
We went to work and stayed home and made decisions.
We took charge, and we relinquished control.
We walked dogs, and played with cats, and mourned a bunny.
We auditioned and hiked and got (sometimes more than) half lit.
We read books and constellations, loved our kitchens and our moms.
We visited doctors, labs, emergency rooms…
We waited for results.
We fell in love with Days 4 and 8 and 14 and 39.

We had SO MUCH TROUBLE sleeping.

… so we all got into bed with Nancy.
We questioned our sanity, our choices, our abilities.
We lost jobs and focus. We lost track of north.

We held each others’ hands.

We celebrated, yearned, gave up on everything one day and started over, determined, the next.
We believed in different things (in God, our dreams, our friends, ourselves) but no matter what we believed in, when life got scary, we each leaned into our faith.
We had epiphanies and relearned old truths about the joy of singing, the power of just starting, the value of quiet, the healing properties of the ground, the sky, the trees, the beginnings and endings of days.

For 41 days we were together,
alive and aware and fucked up and remarkable.

And we were, absolutely, concise.

*          *          *
She also (incredibly) took the time to arrange all of our words into sweet little glimpses.  To see mine and other's glimpses, click here.
Thank you, J, and all of you other lovely ones, for a very touching 41 days. I'm so grateful to have been a part of this beauty.


  1. So glad you posted your audio today and shared a little of my recent journey :) I'm really loving the audio posts, they are so full of your spirit. Love you xoxo

    1. Amy, I'm so happy that I get to be a part of you and your stories.

      I love you so much.

  2. So good to hang out with you on your sunny front porch today!

    Acting in faith and decision...Powerful and True.

    Lots of burning sunny love to you, my friend.

    1. Thanks for hanging out with me, dear Beck. We need a real live hang out soon. I miss you.

      Faith...I've learned a thing or two from you about that.

      Big love and giant hugs. Thanks for being here with me, my friend.

  3. I love "a moment-by-moment coming back." It's a powerful thought that learning which internal voices to heed is really a practice, not something we master, necessarily, but something we "come back to" again and again.

    I could listen to you talk all day! xo

    1. J, you constantly amaze me, blow me away, leave me a big puddle of mush. I'm celebrating your courage today. You truly make me braver.

      A moment by moment coming back, I have no doubt that that's the practice. Now if I can just remember to do that...

  4. Julia,

    I loved hearing your beautiful voice and your beautiful words.

    I enjoyed kicking off my shoes with you and hanging our on your porch.

    1. I love that you kicked off your shoes with me, Eydie...didn't that sunshine feel good? Still basking in it.

      Thank you for being here, dear friend. Your support and encouragement means more to me than you could ever know. You are a beautiful, True woman.

  5. I first knew about Christine Kane because I heard a song off her new album (Wide Awake) on our local public radio station, "How to be Real," (holy crap, have you heard this song?). I was sobbing listening to it, as it sung out loud so much that was inside of me.

    I am in the first stages of this "make a decision" journey, (at the tender age of 44--I'm a late bloomer). I started my life in a struggle with external voices insisting that shame and unworthiness were who I was, and after enough time being bullied and assured of this, by so many people and institutions, I internalized this belief, which manifested as self-hate and smashing myself to bits.

    And it's only in the last year or so that I realized I didn't have to continue that way. I can stop waiting for permission. I don't have to earn the right to have the life I want. I don't have to apologize for or hide who I am. I am amazing! I am wise and compassionate and brave and beautiful and creative and strong and funny and kind and curious and smart and powerful and silly and joyful and so, so, so grateful. I didn't have to wait for something to happen, I happened.

    So, what I am saying is "amen" to what you are saying. That "yes" we know what to do and who we are, we can trust ourselves and listen to our intuition, we can have faith even when it isn't practical, because we have a deep knowing of what is true. Thank you for the reminder.

  6. Beautiful, precious, tender-hearted Jill. I'm sitting here this morning thinking about the amazingness of you and my heart is so full. I am so very happy that you gave yourself permission to stop waiting, that you realized that you can do it differently, that you absolutely DON'T EVER have to apologize for who you are. Who you are is so perfectly just right.

    I haven't heard Christine's "How to be Real" song, in fact, I haven't heard any of her songs--sounds like something that needs to happen.


    "I didn't have to wait for something to happen, I happened."


    YES! we do know what to do. Let's keep reminding each other of that, okay?

    I'm really really grateful for you, Jill. You are absolutely, beyond words amazing.

    1. So much love right back to you! You are one of the "things" that helps me to trust in my intuition, my knowing, because as soon as I started in "this" direction, there you were, knowing with me, so loving and supportive and brave. It is one of the ways the Universe (God, Great Spirit, One Whose True Name I Do Not Know but Who I Know) whispers "yes," because if you are there, of course I must being going in the right direction.

      Here's the stanza of that song that broke me apart and open:
      "Well her year has been all about starting over
      Building up and letting go
      Lots left to do
      So some days
      She'll toss aside the calendar
      And get lost in Mary Oliver the whole afternoon
      Writing poetry and blogs
      Riding in her car with dogs
      Who stick their noses out the window all the way to town
      Even they can show her how
      To be real
      To be radiant
      To be elegant
      In her clumsy kind of way."
      I mean, how could she have known?

  7. Oh, Jill...I'm just now reading this & I have goosebumps all over. Seriously, they're all over-first your words sent waves of gratitude all the way through me, then Christine's just pierced right through. Whew.

    I can't tell you how happy it makes me to know that I am one of your "things." Knowing that makes all of the tiring stuff, all of the hard, difficult stuff feel so totally worth it. More than worth it...

    Wow, I am going to have to listen to that song...I think it's inspiring a poem, I feel one bubbling up. Okay, I'm out of words just a heart overflowing.

    Loving you so.

    P.S: You are one of my "things" too. Totally. Thank you for your support and encouragement, it seriously means everything.

  8. Ya know, I'm thinkin' that I'll be listening to your talk again. It is so full of wisdom, of the kinds of things that I need to hear right now.

    You bless us all again by sharing from your heart. My heart is full of gratitude for you.

    Love ya!

  9. very happy to hear that what I spoke about here resonated. That's just very good to hear.

    And my heart is full of gratitude for you--totally, completely.

    Sending so much love to you,



What are you thinking/feeling? I'd really love to know...

♥ Julia