Thank you for being here. I'm so glad you're here.
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
There's Room for it All
"What will happen to us today is completely unknown. Our commitment is to use it to awaken our heart." Pema Chödrön
As I was standing in the rain on the edge of the highway with the puke bag in my hand, the above quote came to mind.
Let me explain...
Some time after we hit the road to begin our 10 and a half hour drive from Idaho back to Oregon last week, about an hour after my oldest daughter calmed down from her very long screaming fit, hours before the dog shit in the car, my youngest threw up. Very luckily, there was a little red trash bag near enough that I was able to lean over the front seat and get it to her before she doused the car.
This is not what I would describe as fun.
Right after the throw up came, my husband pulled the car over to the side of the road just in case she had more coming. I climbed out, puke bag in hand (held as far away from my body as I could get it) and just stood there in the rain looking at the hills and sky and gorgeous scenery. I was so aware in that moment that this is just the way life is. The yucky stuff is always right there but so is the beauty. And the choice of where to put our attention is always ours. I was aware too of how there is room for it all. It can all exist just as it is, we don't have to push any of it away. And I was aware that it's the resistance to, the non-acceptance of, the pushing away, the thinking it shouldn't be, that's painful.
The fact that I was standing in the rain with the puke bag in hand and we still had a 9 hour drive ahead of us with an overstuffed car, two kids and a dog, was not really a problem at all, it was my thoughts that were the problem. I could stand there in utter frustration, begrudging the nuisance of it all. Or I could take a deep breath and notice the beauty that surrounded; the gorgeous open land before me, the sweet family in the car, the eyes that were seeing it all. I could just stand there and let it wake me up.
I see so clearly that it's never about waiting for the yuck to go away but to be with it all just as it is, to allow the yuck (along with the beauty) to snap us out of our sleepiness, to allow our hearts to open wider and wider still. I'm getting that there really is room for it all.
This seems to be a very big lesson for me right now.
I’d love to hear your thoughts.
P.S: My poem Wide-Eyed Open has been chosen for "Best of the Web: Love Poems." It seems there is some voting going on over there--I'd love it if you'd click here and vote for mine!