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Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Letting Go of Good

***I decided that the below words (that I posted months ago) are important enough to re-post again today.    I think if we can get this, that it REALLY ISN'T ABOUT "GOOD," the whole world will open up.  This isn't about good, it's about being the YOU-y-est you you can be.  Really.

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"A hidden wave of passion lies just below the surface of most people's lives, a passion yearning to be liberated from the paralyzing myths of talent, skill, accomplishment, success and failure, and just plain not being good enough.  It is time to throw off the shackles, to reclaim that which every child knows and is taught to forget:  the essential right to create without interference or shame."  Michele Cassou  (From her amazing book Life, Paint & Passion)

Gorgeous image borrowed from here

If you haven't yet read the above words, please read them now.  If you have read them, I recommend reading them again--I'm going to do that now too.  

Whew.  These words have me all stirred up this morning...I can feel that fiery, soul-waking passion rising to the surface--flushing my cheeks, creating an image of me shouting this message from the tips of the clouds to the depths of the oceans so the whole wide world (including the sea creatures) can hear.   

It is so clear to me that words/concepts like talent, skill, accomplishment, success, failure, not being good enough, are keeping us small, scared, hesitant, stuck, paralyzed.  We are so afraid of not being good enough that we do not even let ourselves begin. Or we begin and then decide that we were absolutely right (that we're really not good enough).  And so we stop.  We leave the paints to dry out, the poem half written, the camera abandoned, left alone in the closet to fend for itself, the shiny new guitar gets shoved in a corner (wedged between the wall and the old rocking chair).  The voice that wants so desperately to sing grows weak with silence.  

We are so convinced that we don't have the "talent"(can we please please just forever banish that word from our vocabulary?), that we're not the "creative type," that we hold ourselves away from the very things that fuel/rejuvenate/invigorate/ heal/ empower/ awaken us. 

I feel a deep sadness when I think of all the ways we hold ourselves away from what we love in the name of "good."  

It's funny, I wasn't at all planning on coming here and writing about this this morning.  I was going to write about how soft I feel inside.  How, in the last two days since I started my 41 day thing, I've been showing up in the creative space soft and receptive.  There's been a beautiful gentleness.  I've allowed my creative time to be meditative and quiet.  I've let go of the idea of product and simply let myself play. It's been a moment-by-moment beautiful unfolding.

And this softness reminds me of how painfully hard it has so often been.  I know all too well what it's like to show up in the creative space feeling scared, constricted, grippy, hesitant, unsure, so worried of it (whatever it is) not being good enough that I stay there stuck, unable to move.  I've felt this painful feeling so often that, to show up with softness/openness, with the intention of receiving, has felt so very sweet.  

And then I think of others, precious friends of mine, beautiful, lovely people who I brush up against on the web, who won't allow themselves to begin or move forward because they're shackled by words like talent, skill, accomplishment, success, failure, not being good enough.  And I just have this incredible urge to take all of those tender-hearted beauties in my arms (myself included) and whisper, ever so gently;

Shhhh, just let yourself be soft, open--quiet. This isn't about good. Let yourself receive what's already there-stirring deep inside.  It's okay-it's already all there-just let it come through. Slow down.  Listen. This isn't about good.  Let go--let all the way go.  Let yourself be cradled and held.  

Trust the process. Trust that there is something beautiful there waiting for you, beyond the confines of your mind. This isn't about good. This is about loving and nurturing and honoring your sweet, one-of-a-kind self.  It's about freedom & liberation. It's about connecting deeply, it's about opening to new ways of being/new perceptions. It's about play. It's about healing and stepping into all of who you've always been--not leaving any parts behind. It's about embracing the whole, beautiful essence of you.  


It's about letting love in.   And out. 
It's about connecting to that light in you, that light that only you can shine, so you can shine the twinkling beauty of it, of you, out in the world.

From my tender heart to yours,



  1. Thank you for this, Julia.

    How often in our lives are we told we have to be "good"! It is practically pounded into our heads. At least that was and is my experience.

    Coming to realize that your words are so true, that it is Not about Good...this involves letting go of so many ideas/dogmas that are deeply ingrained.

    I love that idea of being held, being cradled. At the end of yoga class, in final relaxation pose, I often have the sense that I Am being held. This is a beginning of awareness.

    Thank you for listening to your heart, sharing the love in such a beautiful, timely way.

    1. Dear Deb,

      I have learned that it's all about letting go, wiping the mirror clean of all that has stood in the way of our shine for far too long. We are so beautifully just right as we are.

      That feeling of being held...ah, yes. To think that feeling is really always only a breath away--truly. One deep, deep breath and we are right there, tucked in the arms of grace.

      Thank you for being here so fully, my friend. I really really adore you.

  2. So glad you reposted, dear Julia. Working on that youiest you thing - or is that meiest me?

    Beautiful. Thank you.

    1. Youiest you. Meiest me. It's all the same. And I like your spelling of it better...

      I love you, dear Christa.

  3. This truly is an affirmation for me, in that I think we are nothing that our tribes teach us, our religions teach us, or our societal values say we have to be. I AM my own beauty, grace, tenderheart, creative, playful, yet sometimes quiet and contemplative self, without need to be anything other than what my own heart tells me.
    Julia...I love your blog, your words, your heart, and your sharings...and well, I think I love you too! Off I go to be my Youiest You! :)

    1. "I AM my own beauty, grace, tenderheart, creative, playful, yet sometimes quiet and contemplative self, without need to be anything other than what my own heart tells me."

      Yes. Yes. Yes. You are. And how deeply beautiful is this? To think that we simply need to just BE ourselves. To do what comes naturally, whole-heartedly. This is the message I am getting over and over and over again. Just BE YOU.

      Thank you for leaving your words here today--they have softened my heart in the sweetest way.

      Love and more love to you.

  4. Thanks for your courage to saying "YES" to Spirit!

    1. Thank you for yours, Lori. It's been such an incredible gift to watch you shine.

      Giant hugs and so much love. xo

  5. Ah Julia. What a beautiful, freeing post. I kept picturing my lion (who is currently shoved in a corner somewhere in my house) and my photos and my writing that have all been deemed by me "not good enough" to be pursued. I am picturing them sneaking out from their corners and boldly declaring "I'm here and I DO count and I AM beautiful!" Thanks for the reminder dear friend.

    1. Ah, Hoolie. I have pictured that sweet, powerful, bold, brave lion of yours so many times...I am rooting for her/him with every part of me! It is so f-ing time to drop this trying to be "good" and just show up for ourselves in a wholehearted way. It blows my mind when I see how much we all sacrifice in the name of "good."

      Here's to boldly declaring!

      So much love to you, dear friend.

  6. thank you
    i have so much gratitude for the insight and love you share with us all

    1. And I have so much gratitude that you leave your words/presence here, Christy. The feeling is totally mutual. xo

  7. Oh Julia... how I need this everyday, how I need to visit this everyday, how I need to visit you everyday.

  8. Oh so very true! And this process of letting go of 'good' - is the hardest work of all. But then - no one ever said it would be easy...:-)


What are you thinking/feeling? I'd really love to know...

♥ Julia