Life is not a straight line. It's a downpour of gifts, please – hold out your hand

Thank you for being here. I'm so glad you're here.

Monday, June 4, 2012

The (Fearless) Love Essays

“When the choice is between loving yourself or losing yourself as you try desperately to please someone who is bad for you, you should always choose love. Always choose yourself.  Always."

  -Judy Clement Wall (From The Fearless Love Essays)

My mind keeps trying to get me to wait for this--keeps telling me to do this post after I've read each of the precious 58 pages of J's love essays.  But, I can't wait!  I can't wait to share this overflowing wealth of precious goodness.  I'm only on page 22 and I'm going to have to get up in a minute to get another box of tissue.  It feels like her words have rooted themselves inside of me and are cracking me open at my very core.  This isn't a matter of me promoting her essays (although I'd do that happily) this is a matter of me being unable to fathom not sharing this gift with as many people as possible.  

For those of you who haven't yet had the honor of being introduced to J and her life-changing, year-long love project, you can head here to learn more about the amazingness.  In J's words:

In January, 2011, I declared the year ahead my year of loving fearlessly. I didn’t know exactly what I meant at the time (even as I very publicly announced my intent). I felt self-conscious, silly, small, but I also felt certain that a year spent unabashedly spreading love would change me, no matter how frivolous it looked to everyone else… no matter how frivolous it felt to me. 

And now she's turned this year of fearless love into (in J's words) one beautiful, badass, downloadable file that we can all sink into.  

Below is an excerpt from her essays (where she talks about her month of committing to hug someone new every day)...

Lose your resolve in February when you realize that you’ve committed to hug someone new every day but after the first week, you’ve run out of people you’re comfortable requesting hugs from.  Feel panicky asking strangers for hugs, and then feel alive when, in a coffee shop one morning, you screw up enough courage to explain the love project to a couple you don’t know (Lindsay and Ben as it turns out, studying at a corner table), and they both get up to hug you. And so does Amanda, the barista. And Kelly who is big, bald, goateed and dressed in leather. And Ray, his friend, skinny, tattooed, fidgety and a bit shy. And Laura, a film student, waiting for her latte. And TJ, on his way out of the cafĂ© at the same time as you.

Notice their expressions. Notice the expressions of everyone you hug in February after you tell them about the project, after you’ve broken through the veneer of their day, after they understand what you want from them, the only thing you want from them: A hug. Learn to love that expression, not just a smile, but a face breaking open, a maskless, beautiful someone revealed.

Get addicted to being enfolded, to the instant when you’re standing heart-to-heart with a perfect stranger. Feel there is magic there, in that strange and sudden intimacy, devoid of politics, religion, headlines, barriers, baggage or bullshit… not even air comes between the two of you in the moment of contact. Feel precious in that instant. Believe each time that you’ve entered a sacred space, that you will never be the same when this year ends.

I'm deeply moved by what I've read so far.  I might go as far as to say, I'm changed.  And, like I said, I'm only 22 pages in.  

J is offering the love essays at variable pricing, with a suggested price of $7.00.  If you want to give yourself a beautiful gift today, click here .  Be ready to be moved to your core & make sure you have your tissues nearby as you begin reading.  I'm serious.


  1. Thank you so much for posting this, Julia! It means more than I can say. Yesterday was such a whirlwind of doubt and validation and emotional spinniness. (Your emailed encouragement helped more than you know.)

    Now, we have one more beautiful baby to birth, yes? I. Can't. Wait.

  2. J, to say it was my pleasure to write this post feels like such an understatement...I really didn't have a choice. I am not at all trying to be dramatic when I say everyone on the planet should read this, they just should.

    Oh my. You're a beauty.

    And yes, there is another beautiful baby on her way. I am feeling the labor pains already, needing to remember to relax into it and breathe, breathe, breathe.

    Loving you so, my friend.

  3. i love that hug story + the book sounds inspiring + beautiful! sending YOU a big hug/someday maybe i'll be blessed enough to do so in person. oooxox

  4. Testing to see if I can get my picture to show (and, picking this post because who cares about that silly j-girl?) :)

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What are you thinking/feeling? I'd really love to know...

♥ Julia