"Breathe. Let go. And remind yourself that this moment is the only one you know you have for sure." ~Oprah Winfrey
I'm having one of those I-don't-know-how-to-begin kind of moments. So much has happened in the last couple of weeks, so much that I don't have words for. The photo above is of my beautiful sister-in-law, Amy, and my two little girls...it was taken less than two weeks ago, just three days before she passed away from complications of Pulmonary Hypertension. She was just barely 43-years-old.
It doesn't seem like a
coincidence that the post I wrote right before this one was entitled,
"Don't Wait." Here are a few words from that post...
We tell ourselves
I'm
so very thankful we didn't wait to visit her on that Wednesday—even though that
meant taking our girls out of school in the middle of their day and driving the
hour and a half to Portland. I'm so thankful that Lily (my little one on
the right) didn't forget to bring the little hat she had knitted for Amy for
her birthday and that we got to see the sweetness of her wearing it.
I'm so thankful we took this treasure-of-a picture, though a little on
the blurry side, it’s the precious last we took of her. I’m so thankful
that my husband and I got to hold her close and say I love you three
days before her body let go. I’m so thankful that my little
girls had many precious years with an aunt who fully adored them in her
down-on-the-floor playful, silly, fun-loving way.
As
I read the words that are pouring in about Amy, there are things that are
repeated over and over again—simple words about her beaming smile, her constant
giving, her genuineness, the way she made everyone in the room laugh until
their bellies hurt, how she always made people feel loved and appreciated, what
a shining light she was.
One
of my most favorite memories of this precious woman is when, just moments after
giving birth to my second little girl, she so tenderly massaged my feet.
I won’t ever forget this simple act of love, how she made me feel like a
princess at a time when I may have otherwise felt just the opposite, how tuned
in she was to know how to love me best in that moment. And I think
with such gratitude about how, years later, I got to return the favor while she
sat in her hospital bed sick and tired and struggling for breath.
I
think about the sunny afternoon she piled my girls into her light blue
Volkswagen bug and cruised around my mother-in-law’s backyard (she has a very
big backyard), giggling and waving and honking the horn—what a sweet, simple
memory this is, one that will continue to make us smile for a long long time.
I
feel deeply blessed to have been your sister-in-law, Amy Ann. Thank you
for reminding me to breathe deeply, to love fully--to not wait. The way
you lived your life, the way you gave with the whole of yourself shows me with
such simple clarity what matters. I, like so many others lucky enough to
know and love you, will forever carry you close. Even though
your body is no longer here, your spirit shines ever so bright—the precious
gift that will forever & always keep on giving. I love you so,
sparkling one.
Beautiful, shining Amy on her 41st birthday celebration--just two years ago
oh julia,
ReplyDeleteamy passed...
she was so beautiful!
her face! blessed be!
huge + tender hugs to you, dear friend.
LOVExoxox
You have been in my heart, in my thoughts. Sending you so much love.
ReplyDeleteEmbracing you and your precious family, my dear friend. This is the most beautiful expression of love here. Loving you so much.
ReplyDeletethat was precious, julia. xoxo kindy
ReplyDeleteJulia,
ReplyDeleteI’m sending you and your family much light and LOVE. Your words are a beautiful tribute to your precious Amy Ann.
XOXO
What lovely words you have gifted us with, the wonderful memories of a life well lived. I'm sending prayers of love to you and your family.
ReplyDeleteIt took me a long time to read through this post, there are so many tissues that I needed to reach for. What a beautiful, loving way to show Amy's life. Jules you are such an amazing soul to capture your sister in law in such a way. She will be truly missed and she was so lucky to have such a warm and giving family.
ReplyDeleteLove you all so much,
Amers
sending you love and light...i'm so sorry for your family's loss
ReplyDeleteThank you, each of you, for your love-soaked words...they are the warmest, coziest blanket for me right now.
ReplyDeleteSending love back your way...
Dear Julia,
ReplyDeleteThank you for such a beautiful, heartfelt post and for sharing the ways in which Amy Ann touched your life and the lives of so many more.
There is incredible power in telling someone that we love them before they move on. It requires strength and humility in equal measure.
We are moved that you got to tell Amy Ann that you love her and took full advantage of the opportunity to repay her favour of many years ago by massaging her feet. There is something sacred about that.
Go gently at this tender time.
Sending love across the ocean,
Elloa and Nige xxx
Oh, Julia, I am so, so sorry to hear of your family's sorrow and the loss of your precious Amy Ann. Your words, your memories shine with the love of remembering one so dear -- what a tender, joyful remembrance. May you feel loved and upheld right now, precious Julia. I'm so sorry and am sending much love.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry to hear about Amy's passing away. She was an awesome lady.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Shaheena Faisal
I have been thinking of you extra and sending so much love your way. This was such a beautiful post to clearly a beautiful soul. I am so sorry. XOXOXOXOXO
ReplyDeleteso much love to you and yours
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry for this loss and so grateful for you sharing this reminder of living each moment
thank you
and thank you also for sharing the spirit of Amy with us, she will indeed live on!
There are not enough words to express my gratitude for each of you beauties. From all the little parts of me, thank you.
ReplyDeleteThanks for this, Julia. Amy was my friend, co-conspirator, inspiration, and so much more, for 33 years. She loved your girls so much and talked about them with a lot of pride. Thanks for sharing her memory with new people. May it live forever.
ReplyDelete