How much is too?
Is 43 years too many to
get it, finally
to see that it's always been
here, this nameless something
that sits in quiet center—to trust
that this heart feels
just what it came here
to feel
I could call it love
but it's so much more than that
for the man on the
street whose eyes
blink sorrow—breathe hope
when I give
just the littlest bit
of what I have. I can no longer
tell the difference between you
and me and I'm sure
I want it to stay
this way.
Too sensitive. Too
emotional. Too dreamy. Unrealistic.
This morning while I
ran, soaked deep
in Oregon rain
breathing in, breathing out
I waved arms in listening air
and belted out loud
the words to that song
I couldn’t keep from singing
I'm gonna celebrate and
live my life
even though I didn't
know
if there was someone
coming around that river-y bend. It felt glorious
to not care.
I
love you.
Can I say these words
too often
as I lean in close
and closer
to these eyes—
the ones that have forever looked
for more.
Is four decades too long
to try and grab hold of
what could never
be held?
Breathing in.
Breathing out.
Is there such thing as
too
if all of it leads
here
to this that wraps
around me
permeates,
saturates--satiates
to
this that is so much more
than love.
There are wars going on
while you write poetry.
I feel your heart like
it's my own
and I don't want this to stop.
Even if it means
I am on my knees
more than sometimes
Thank you poetry for
quieting the war.
Until I can find more
words
I'll keep breathing it in
breathing it out
I love you
because
I do.
Because when it comes to love
I'm sure
there's no such thing as
too.
Dear Julia, YOU are the poem that found me. Thank you for seeing the world the way that you do. Thank you for letting Love shine through you. Thank you for being too, for your always-enoughness, for your gathering our tired hearts under your gentle wing. I love you.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful Amanda--these words from you are some of the sweetest I've ever read about myself..."you are the poem that found me." I'm going to sit here and breathe that all the way in. Whew. Such beauty.
DeleteFrom every bit of me, thank you, my blessing-of-a-friend.
Such beautiful words, flowing with such grace. You are never too old or young to live in the moments God gives you. Have a lively, passionate, wild birthday lovely sister, you deserve it.
ReplyDeleteXx
Amy
My beautiful sis...thank you for leaving these words for me. I love you a ton. xo
DeleteSo grateful that through my dear daughter Amanda, I found you, Julia. May we all embrace our too.
ReplyDeleteI'm so grateful too. Thank you for leaving your presence here...I appreciate it so much.
DeleteAmazing what you do with words, Julia. Thank you for sharing your love of life, your love of all of us.
ReplyDeleteDeb, you bless me. Thank you for always embracing me--what a difference you make in my life.
DeleteSending tons of love your way.
I adore you. xo
ReplyDeleteI adore you right back, dear Jill.
DeleteLove filled hugs to you. xo
Wow Julia ~ the words in this poem are like music and magic mixed together and floating off this computer screen and into my heart!
ReplyDeleteAnd these:
"...to this that wraps around me
permeates, saturates--satiates
to this that is so much more
than love."
Yes ~ just yes. Thank you SO very much for helping me know this within myself!
Happy, Happy Birthday Dear Julia ~ the world was blessed the day you were born!
Dear Susie--how very sweet it is to receive these words from you...such a day brighter.
DeleteI am beyond grateful that I've been able to walk beside you in this important part of your journey.
So blessed to know you, beautiful woman.
Waving arms in listening air...wars while we write our poetry. This love poem, friend, it is exquisite. It settles down deep. It lightens. It inspires. It celebrates. It was your birthday? Happy day! I hope your day was filled with all the kinds of goodness, love, encouragement and tender joy you bring. Thankful for the gift of you.
ReplyDeleteAshley, you bless me.
DeleteThank you for coming here & gracing this space with your beautiful presence & words.
So happy to call you friend. And thank you for the b-day wishes. :)
wow
ReplyDeletethank you
for helping make pictures with words
pictures so powerful that they shift
my own vista
within and beyond
the transformation you speak of is happening
here too
thank you!
xo
Dear Christy. You seriously touch me...thank you for always coming here and pouring your love. I feel so damn lucky to be on the receiving end of YOU.
ReplyDeleteSo happy to hear the transformation is happening there too. A celebration is in order, I think!
With so much love and gratitude. xo
Just now seeing this. Lovely.
ReplyDelete