|Art by Judy Clement Wall|
Thursday, August 1, 2013
"The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes." Marcel Proust
I've been cranky lately. The kind of cranky where I feel wildly impatient with my girls when their voices get too loud (which is often) or the person driving in front of me is going painfully slow and I feel like I want to scream really loud, or I can't find my keys and, rather than pausing and taking a deep breath, I whine like a two-year-old and imagine pulling every hair out of my head (that would hurt). Or I try to center the above quote on this page and, for some mysterious, painfully frustrating reason, it will not center and I imagine myself launching the computer out of the tallest possible building.
Much of this may very well be hormone related (aren't girls lucky?). But, the truth is, lately I've been really, super, hyper focused on what isn't working. When another thing goes "wrong," it's like more evidence for my stashed away collection that the whole world, and everyone in it, is against me somehow. In other words, I feel like the victim of a whole bunch of shit.
Insert deep, deep breath.
Ah...I feel better already.
I am amazed by the power of even just one deep, conscious, come-back-to-NOW breath.
Breathing in, breathing out.
Just one breath has the power to take me from my frantic, I-have-way-too-much-to-do-and-nothing's-working mind into THIS moment. This moment, the one where the dancing Tahitian Vanilla candle is wafting its lovely scent around the room. This moment where the oaks outside my window stand tall and sure and birds sing their lovely sunshine songs. This moment,where, really, nothing is urgent or bad or wrong. One deep, conscious breath and I feel my heart filling with gratitude for these strong lungs, this breath of new.
This moment where no one is screaming or making random noises or fighting or demanding or pooping on the floor (we have a 16-year-old dog who has lost control of certain things). This moment where I can shift my focus from washing and packing and list making in my head, trying to make sure I don't forget to do/buy/pack anything before this 2 week family trip we're taking to Yellowstone (we leave early tomorrow morning).
What we focus on expands...this I know for sure. This I see over and over and over again.
When I focus on what isn't working, what seems to be going wrong, what I don't have - I inevitably feel anxious, achy, grippy, controlling, like a victim. In other words, when I focus on LACK, I suffer. A lot.
When I shift my focus from lack to abundance, from what isn't going well to what is going well, from cursing it all to saying thank you for it all, that heavy weight of suffering lifts and I feel light and free and HERE (and, like magic, this can all happen in a single moment).
For those of you who have been following along, you know that I've been focusing on a different question each week from Debbie Ford's book The Right Questions...the question I'm focusing on this week is:
Am I looking for what's right or am I looking for what's wrong?
For me, there is nothing that lifts that weight of suffering, that takes me from my head to my heart more quickly than shifting my focus from lack to abundance. When I begin to feel that pressing down heaviness, I know it's time to start counting gifts - that it's time to take deep breaths and come back to NOW - where there is always beauty and blessings. More and more I'm seeing that there is beauty in it all (even in, maybe especially in what appears to be a mess).
When I drop deep into my heart space, I no longer see "wrongness," just IS-ness.
I see that when we get to the point where we know we aren't the victim of anyone or anything, when we get to the point where we know, in an instant, we can shift our focus from lack to abundance - when we know it's not about seeking new landscapes but seeing with new eyes, we are free.
F R E E . I love that word.
Your turn - in your life right now - what are you focusing on?
Isn't it a beautiful thing to know that you always have the power to shift your focus - that you can always choose to see with new eyes? That, really - you are FREE?
* * *
I will see you back here in a few weeks...Yellowstone is calling. :)