Life is not a straight line. It's a downpour of gifts, please – hold out your hand

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Thank you for being here. I'm so glad you're here.

Friday, October 18, 2013

One Question (plus a few more)



Will this choice add to my life force or will it rob me of my energy?  (From Debbie Ford's book, The Right Questions)




In last week's post (in response to a beautifully healing painting date I had with myself) I wrote:

I am amazed that, even though I know how deeply healing art is for me, I would decide the product, having something "good enough" to share (or sell), having others' approval, is somehow more important than giving myself the miracle healing blessing of doing what I love.

As I talk to other amazing women around me, as I listen to people's struggles and feel their pain, I am becoming more and more aware of how much we all tend to deny ourselves the gift of doing what we love - simply because we love it.  We think it's selfish to take time to feed and nurture our beautiful selves.  We resist doing what brings us joy/peace, or we do what brings us joy and peace, but then become insanely attached to what happens next. When others don't respond in the way that we would like, we discount our precious selves, our precious creations. 

We try to be superheros by doing more, more, more and by doing better, better, better - until - often, resentment builds and we become drained of all that makes us us.  We wait around thinking (praying) that someone or something will fill the empty - that someone or something will give us what we can only give to ourselves.

I know a twelve-year-old girl, a little girl who runs cross country with my oldest daughter who, after almost every run and race, is disappointed to the point of tears. However fast she runs, on any given day - it just isn't fast enough.  What started out as a simple, innocent love for running has turned into a race she can never, ever win.  Someone will always, always be faster.  She doesn't see that her own precious JOY is what matters and, as long as she goes on not seeing this, she will reach and struggle, she will try harder, run faster - trying to grab onto something that can never, ever be grabbed.  When my daughter congratulates her after her runs, she hangs her head low.  She never congratulates back.  She's so disappointed in her own "not enough-ness," she's got nothing to give.

As I watch this little girl, I feel deeply saddened.  And I see myself, all of us, in her.  I see that as long as we make something outside of us matter more than our own joy, our own life force - we will be robbed of what matters most.  

How did we ever get the idea that it's selfish to give to ourselves?  That doing simply for the sake of joy is somehow not enough?  How did we ever get the idea that being good/talented/the best at something - that being "successful" in the eyes of the world, is what matters most?  

Imagine if it didn't have to be this way?  

Imagine if we started to see that it's selfish NOT to give to ourselves - that when we rob ourselves of joy, we rob everyone of joy.  That what we deny ourselves, we deny everyone. When we give and do from a place of depletion, or from a place of trying to please another, we have little of value to give.

What if we knew, really knew, that when we do something simply because it fills us/brings us joy - we always, always serve others?  And that there is nothing, no thing, that matters more.


Will this choice add to my life force or will it rob me of my energy? 

It's a good question, don't you think?



*               *               *


* There are only four days left to register for my upcoming Getting Naked class (starts Monday).  This is going to be a beautiful opportunity to shed what's in the way of YOU being your shiniest, most joyful self.  This is going to be a chance to go deep in a very intimate, personal, totally safe setting.  Wanna join us?   

Plus, when you register, you get a signed  (complimentary) copy of my poetry/art book, On the Other Side of Fear.  

Click below to register.

REGISTRATION IS NOW CLOSE FOR THIS FALL, 2013 SESSION.




4 comments :

  1. Oooooo Julia, these words—these words: "...that when we rob ourselves of joy, we rob everyone of joy. That what we deny ourselves, we deny everyone. When we give and do from a place of depletion, or from a place of trying to please another, we have little of value to give.

    What if we knew, really knew, that when we do something simply because it fills us/brings us joy - we always, always serve others? And that there is nothing, no thing, that matters more."

    Oh what power these words hold, and my oh my, how backwards we do things. And of course it makes sense that by serving ourselves we serve others and visa versa. Yet...we believe pain to be the only path of service and self-denial the noblest road of all. Yet, this road is often paved with dissatisfaction, and self-imposed shame, guilt, and dread. The list really is endless.

    I am slowly seeing this truth Julia, yet my nature still draws me back to the negative, that faulty default setting, which takes time and practice to re-set to the positive.

    Thank you my love for sharing your soul. I love you so very much.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Leah - it is so very nurturing/connecting/precious to have this connection with you. The connection that really needs no words at all because we just get each other. Each time you write something I just want to nod and see, yes - me too.

      As I say over and over again (on repeat), it's a constant practice to bring ourselves back to this center place that knows and loves, to this place where there is always, always enough. As long as we're stuck inside these minds of ours, we will find fault and lack...but thankfully, we don't have to stay stuck and thankfully, we both know this still, full place inside.

      I love you right back, my friend.

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  2. "until - often, resentment builds and we become drained of all that makes us us. "

    I don't know how you do it, but so often you perfectly describe how I am reacting in my life right now.

    Whether it's projects at work , chores at home, hobbies I want to pursue---I've been trying to do it all with late hours, to-do lists, and reading up on my hobbies.

    But there's so much to do, and I feel like there's so little time to complete it, that it will never be all done. That there will never come a day where I say to myself, I have nothing left to do--because that will never be true.
    And then when I start thinking about that, it spirals downward into a pit of overwhelming despair.
    Then I start thinking, I could have done it all, if I only I had been _____ or ______ or.....

    ----Will this choice add to my life force or will it rob me of my energy?
    That is a good question, and perhaps something we should ask ourselves before pursuing what we think we want.
    I think all that we pursue does both---it's a matter of perspective. Sure, we expend energy trying to reach our goals, but if we do reach those goals, we feel whole. We feel accomplished, complete, satisfied.
    And I think we all want to reach that point.

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  3. I face this constantly. Really truly constantly! Why isn't it simply ENOUGH to do something for the pure joy of it?
    I so love the idea of weighing the emotional result of any action too. So many tasks seem to weigh us down when maybe they don't have to.
    I hope the next Getting Naked class is wonderful and enjoyable. :)

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What are you thinking/feeling? I'd really love to know...

♥ Julia