Life is not a straight line. It's a downpour of gifts, please – hold out your hand

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Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Her Howl

I didn't know 
I could let it pour, softly – fiercely 
without thought
of whether it will be liked 
or understood. I always thought safe 
meant sheltering it, filtering out the too
watering down the color 
when what I really wanted most –
what I really want 
is to let it spill like this relentless
Oregon rain. Which reminds 
me of that day she sat, head to sky
and howled with wild abandon 
and how that howl contained 
all the loss and love 
her little dog heart
could hold
for the beloved woman
who would never breathe again. If only 
I could release the ugly and pretty 
of it with a single lamenting
celebratory howl
without concern for anything 
other than letting truth
be truth
letting me - finally
be me

*Image found HERE


  1. Oh yes, Julia! Let's howl. We'll howl for the empty spaces and the too full parts that confuse and pull. We'll howl for the tender touches and the torn places that never seem to heal. We'll howl for it all—completely—until we're turned inside out, and the emptiness holds us up again. We'll howl with joy for having made room for grief.

    Your words always find their way inside, filling up the places that were hollow. I love your poem. I love you, my sister.

    1. I would love to howl with my beloved Leah. Leah, you have such a way with words. And love.

      It is such immense comfort to feel you here with me always.

  2. When I get my own canine to howl, it's usually for a much different reason. ;)

    This is such a lovely, sweet, yet sad poem.
    Much love to you <3

    1. Aren't dogs amazing, Karin? This poem is actually about our other dog, Lucky, who came to us through my beloved sister-in-law who died (at the young age of 43) a little over a year ago. Lucky is only 3 and is just the most sensitive, loving dog. Shortly ater we got her, I heard the howl (described in the poem) and it touched me so deeply...I knew I would have to write about it one day.

      Thank you being hear, dear Karin.

  3. Simply beautiful, Juila.

    Have you read the book "Women Who Run With Wolves" by Clarissa Pinkola Estes? It's one I pick up again and again, so full of wisdom.

    You just keep on howlin. Lift up your chin and let 'er rip!

    Love ya!

    1. Thank you, Deb. I have read bits of that book and am always struck by the depth and richness. Thank you for reminding me if it - it may be time to pick that up again.

      I love you, Deb. Thank you for always being here. You are so dear to me.

  4. I love you dearly, my friend.

    1. I love you too, Alia. I very much look forward to our next visit. 💗

  5. Julia,

    Profoundly beautiful I find these amazingly written words of yours. Along with the beautiful image, I love it all.

    Thank you for sharing yourself with all of us. It is such an honor.

    Lots of love to you, Sarra

    1. Sarra, thank you for being so generous with your love--I can always feel it deeply and receive it/you with wide open arms.

      I'm so very thankful our paths have lucky I feel to know you.

  6. Replies
    1. Thank you, Jill. My heart always lights up when I see you here.

  7. Beautiful, dear friend. Sending so much love.

    1. Sending so much love back to you, Brooke. Thank you for always seeing through the muck to the beauty-this has truly made all the difference.

  8. This is just hauntingly beautiful!

  9. Thank you so much, Judie. <3


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♥ Julia