DAY 1 - 11/7/14: I said yes to reading my poetry aloud at a poetry open mic night. I felt completely ALIVE and empowered while reading. I was jittery-nervous all day, couldn't even begin to do "normal" things like clean the house. Wait, that's not true, I managed to make a delicious homemade roasted chicken dinner. :)
The poetry night was nothing like I had envisioned. The event was held in a way too small, overcrowded, hot, loud coffee shop. I could hardly squeeze between the mass of people to get myself up to the front to read. But once I was up there, it felt like magic. It flowed, my cheeks got flushed, an energy moved through me. I joined eyes with so many of the beautiful ones in that room. It felt so completely right and empowering. I'm happy, beyond happy I said yes to this. Despite the imperfections, it was truly perfect.
Even though I felt such a magical surge of energy while reading, and completely FELT that I had connected with the beautiful audience, my mind had a lot to say after...it said that if people had been truly moved, they would have come up and told me - that it must not have actually been as moving as I had FELT it was. I wondered if maybe I was the only one who had felt it.
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But, again - I choose not to listen to the voice that spits lack and limitation. I choose to TRUST the part of me that FELT it and knows it. I am seeing that it is enough for me to know.
It can be so tough sometimes to trust what is invisible. But, whew - there is so much magic that happens when we do.
DAY 2 - 11/8/14: I shared a poem of mine in a magical online class I'm involved with. My mind tried to tell me all the reasons that this wasn't a good idea, but I chose NOT to listen. I shared anyway, and it was beautifully received and appreciated. People expressed how much it moved them, how much they needed/appreciated my words.
I'm learning that this is all beyond me. I have no idea why these nudges come or what they might do if I follow them. My only, my ONLY job, is to listen, to ACT, and then to turn it over to something much bigger than me. The rest is none of my business. And (this feels really super important) it's not at all about little, scared me. It's about using my gifts to SERVE.
Day 3/4 - 11/8-9/14: So, in the middle of the night/in the wee hours of this morning, something big and clear and beautiful came through. I have been urgently and pretty much constantly praying over the last several weeks for some clarity on next steps, for a vision of how I can best offer my gifts.
And then, boom! something so very clear and specific came through. Something that very much feels divinely guided. I was planning on sharing this big something today, but then I realized that tomorrow is 11/11/14, and I see magic and divinity in repeating 1s, so I realized this big something needs to wait until tomorrow. Patience is definitely not one of my strengths, so this waiting feels a bit hard, but also very right.
Stay tuned. There is magic in the air. :)